|
To:
Members in Amber Alert on Facebook |
|
Protecting Yourself While in Your Car
This is an email I recieved from my cousin about cases that involve safety
A MESSAGE FROM THE OFFICE OF ATTORNEY GENERAL STATE OF MISSISSIPPI
Case 1- The Abandoned Baby on the Side of the Road
While driving on a rural end of the roadway on Thursday morning, I saw an infant car seat on the side of the road with a blanket draped over it. For whatever reason, I did not stop, even though I had all kinds of thoughts running through my head. But when I got to my destination, I called the Canton PD and they were going to check it out. But, this is what the Police advised even before they went out there to check....
"There are several things to be aware of .... gangs and thieves are now plotting different ways to get a person (mostly women) to stop their vehicle and get out of the car. "There is a gang initiation reported by the local Police Department where gangs are placing a car seat by the road...with a fake baby in it...waiting for a woman, of course, to stop and check on the abandoned baby.
"Note that the location of this car seat is usually beside a wooded or grassy (field) area and the person -- woman -- will be dragged into the woods, beaten and raped, and usually left for dead. If it's a man, they're usually beaten and robbed and maybe left for dead, too.
DO NOT STOP FOR ANY REASON!!! DIAL 9-1-1 AND REPORT WHAT YOU SAW, BUT DON 'T EVEN SLOW DOWN. "
Case 2 - Eggs On The Windshield
IF YOU ARE DRIVING AT NIGHT AND EGGS ARE THROWN AT YOUR WINDSHIELD, DO NOT STOP TO CHECK THE CAR, DO NOT OPERATE THE WIPER AND DO NOT SPRAY ANY WATER BECAUSE EGGS MIXED WITH WATER BECOME MILKY AND BLOCK YOUR VISION UP TO 92.5%, AND YOU ARE THEN FORCED TO STOP BESIDE THE ROAD AND BECOME A VICTIM OF THESE CRIMINALS.
THIS IS A NEW TECHNIQUE USED BY GANGS, SO PLEASE INFORM YOUR FRIENDS AND RELATIVES. THESE ARE DESPERATE TIMES AND THESE ARE UNSAVORY INDIVIDUALS WHO WILL TAKE DESPERATE MEASURES TO GET WHAT THEY WANT."
Case 3 - Phony Unmarked Police Cars
Some knew about the red light on cars, but not the 112. It was about 1:00 p.m. in the afternoon, and Lauren was driving to visit a friend. An UNMARKED police car pulled up behind her and put his lights on.
Lauren's parents have always told her never to pull over for an unmarked car on the side of the road, but rather to wait until they get to a gas station, etc. Lauren had actually listened to her parents advice, and promptly called112 on her cell phone to tell the police dispatcher she would not pull over right away.
She proceeded to tell the dispatcher there was an unmarked police car with a flashing red light on his rooftop behind her. The dispatcher checked to see if there were police cars where she was and there weren't, and he told her to keep driving, remain calm and he had back up already on the way.
Ten minutes later 4 cop cars surrounded her and the unmarked car behind her. One policeman went to her side and the others surrounded the car behind. They pulled the guy from the car and tackled him to the ground. The man was a convicted rapist and wanted for other crimes.
I never knew about the 112 Cell Phone feature, but especially for a woman alone in a car, you should not pull over for an unmarked car. Apparently police have to respect your right to keep going to a safe place. *Speaking to a service representative at Bell Mobility confirmed that 112 was a direct link to State trooper info. So, now it's your turn to let your friends know about 112. You may want to send this to every woman (and man) you know; it may save a life. This applies to ALL 50 states.
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month
Last year, the idea was to post the colour of the bra you were wearing on facebook...and it left men wondering for days, why women were posting colors, seemingly at random.
This year's game has to do with your handbag/purse, where we put our handbag the moment we get home; for example "I like it on the couch", "I like it on the kitchen counter", "I like it on the dresser". Well u get the idea. Just put your answer as your status (i.e. don't respond to this message, but put it on your status) - and cut n paste this message and forward to all your FB female friends to their inbox.
The bra game made it to the news. Let's get the purse in as well and see how powerful we women really are!!! REMEMBER - DO NOT PUT YOUR ANSWER AS A REPLY TO THIS MESSAGE- PUT IT IN YOUR STATUS!!! PASS THIS TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!
Personal Safety Plan – Be Prepared to Defend Yourself
April is sexual assault awareness month, and we cannot turn our backs on the shocking numbers that the Bureau of Justice Statistics has reported for 2008. In the United States alone, an estimated 222,000 rapes or sexual assaults of individuals 12 or older had occurred, and these are the cases that were reported. Even more startling is that studies indicate 18% percent of women in this country will be raped over the course of their lifetimes.
This information is a frightening wake-up call, and every woman and girl must meet reality head on and devise a personal safety plan that she can incorporate into her daily routine. Several components are required to make a personal safety plan effective, which includes both physical and emotional decisions based on the comfort zone of the individual. Attitude, common sense, survival instinct and the motivation to fight back are all critical factors that need to be addressed on a very personal level. There also has to be a firm conviction that developing an individual safety plan is as critical as having a disaster emergency kit in place. This belief is not only essential, it is crucial.
Even now in the 21st century there is still doubt that a woman could actually defend herself and are rarely thought of as Xena the Warrior Princess welding a powerful weapon to combat the evil forces of the world. That’s a man’s job right? Women are the weaker sex, soft and feminine and not strong enough to defend herself if confronted with a potentially dangerous situation – NOT! Women have the power within them to be strong and in control, empowered to take on whatever challenges they are faced with head on without losing their femininity. The perception that women need to rely on a man to save the day whenever she is in trouble is ludicrous. Unfortunately, Superman is not going to sweep down and fight the bad guys and whisk the girl away to safety. In reality, women and girls need to become more proactive in making personal safety a part of their everyday lives.
The first step in developing a personal protection plan is to imagine different scenarios that may place you in threatening circumstances. Play out in your mind what would you do in the event if someone attacked you while walking to your car with your hands full of packages while looking for your keys. If you enjoy jogging or running solo and a predator jumps at you from behind, will you be ready to react?
The Women’s Self Defense Federation offers a very informative article on how to avoid predators which can be found at http://aaa-selfdefense.com/avoiding-predators, and all women and girls should make the time to read it. Here are some common sense guidelines regarding how a woman’s mindset can help prevent her from becoming a victim:
· Always walk with confidence and with a purpose: Stand straight with your shoulders and your head held high. Don’t exude a “shrinking violet” posture with shlumpy shoulders and a lack of confidence. Predators seek out potential victims who look timid and vulnerable.
· Always be aware of your surroundings. Your instinctual radar should be up at all times. Avoid multi-tasking and distractions while walking from point A to point B, i.e. talking on the cell phone while fumbling for your keys in your purse.
· If someone gets into your personal space or is following you, look that person straight in the eye and ask “what do you want?” Predators don’t like it when someone looks directly at them because they can now be identified.
· If you must go to a grocery store or shopping mall at dark, park as close to the entrance as you can and always in a lighted area. Do not park next to a van or a vehicle with someone in it with the engine running. When leaving your car, make sure the doors are locked. When coming out of the store, make sure you have your keys out and ready. While loading the car with packages, put your purse in first and always look around you while placing the rest of the bags in your vehicle. Once you are in your car, lock the doors immediately and turn on the engine. Don’t sit there for any length of time because even if your doors are locked, it doesn’t stop a predator with a gun at your window. Get in the car, lock the door and take off immediately.
· Avoid walking solo in dark, isolated areas and choose a path that is well lit and trafficked. If you must walk a dark and isolated route, carry a flashlight, a personal alarm, a charged cell phone and a personal protection device such as a pepper spray, Mace, stun gun or TASER at ALL TIMES. Non-lethal personal protection products are affordable, compact and very effective in protecting an individual from being attacked by a predator. These devices are very easy to use and require very little or no training and are legal within most of the 50 states.
· If you are confronted with a potential assault, scream as loud as you can or set off your personal alarm to attract attention. Yell “I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY!!” and start running in the opposite direction as fast as you can. If you have a pepper spray on hand, don’t be afraid to use it. Pepper spray is made from hot cayenne peppers. The active ingredient is called oleoresin capsicum (OC) which is derived from chilis and most effective when sprayed in the eyes of a predator. The immediate result is severe burning of the eyes, tearing and pain, which can last up to 35-40 minutes. Some sprays also include an indelible dye to mark the attacker.
· Another effective personal defense tool is Mace, which is an irritant similar to tear gas. Unlike pepper spray, however, Mace will not have any effect on predators that are on drugs or alcohol. Mace® is also the brand name for personal defense and security products.
· TASERs are more expensive than a pepper spray or Mace product, but this personal defense device is one of the most powerful non-lethal tools a civilian can own that is legal in all states except Hawaii, Massachusetts, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Rhode Island, Wisconsin and the District of Columbia. Check local state laws on any restrictions regarding the use or possession of a Taser. Tasers can incapacitate an attacker up to 15 feet away and can also act as a stun gun upon body contact. The Taser is very easy to operate with a simple point and shoot mechanism with a laser light that will guarantee an accurate aim at the predator.
· It is important that you learn more about these personal defense products and choose the one that you are comfortable with so that you are not afraid to use it when necessary.
· Learn some basic self defense techniques that are easy to remember but effective enough to escape a predator’s attack. Self defense classes are relatively inexpensive and there are organizations who offer free self defense workshops for women and girls. There is a great website that all young women should visit, which makes available a 20 minute long video that teaches girls how to fight back against sexual assault and abduction. Since 2006 Just Yell Fire has empowered 1 million girls in 44 countries with getaway skills and the right to live without fear of being a victim of sexual assault.
Date rape drugs are becoming a very popular method of disorienting an individual so that she will not have the ability to defend herself against a sexual assault. The three most popular date rape drugs are Rohypnol, GHB, and Ketamine.
These drugs are powerful, dissolve quickly in liquids and take effect within 15 to 30 minutes of ingestion. If you are going out to a club, a party or even to dinner with someone you don’t know very well, you need to take these precautions to avoid becoming a victim of these date rape drugs:
· Don’t take drinks from people you don’t know
· Open your own beverage container
· Never leave your drink unattended.
· If a drink tastes funny, pour it out.
· Don’t drink from punch bowls.
· If you feel drunk and you had no alcohol, get help immediately
· Never leave a social situation with a stranger or even an acquaintance that you don’t know very well.
Assault doesn’t always have to happen outside your home, and the major cause of injury to women each year is from domestic violence. According to the American Institute of Domestic Violence, http://www.aidv-usa.com 5.3 million women are abused each year in the United States. If you are a victim of domestic violence, do you have a safety plan in place to prepare an escape from an intimate partner’s violent episode? Do you have resources such as trusted neighbors, friends or family members who can offer you and your children a safe haven from your abuser? Visit http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/plan.shtml for more information on a step-by-step Domestic Violence Safety Plan along with a link to download a “Family Disaster Plan” worksheet.
Home invasion in the United States is also a very harsh reality and according to a United States Department of Justice report:
- 38 percent of assaults and 60 percent of rapes occur during home invasions
- One in five homes undergoes a home invasion or break-in
- There are more than 8,000 home invasions every day in North America
- 50 percent of home invasions involve the use of a weapon; the most common weapons used are knives or other cutting instruments
- In 48 percent of home invasions, victims sustain physical injuries
- Victims age 60 or older make up 17 percent of home invasion victims
- In 68 percent of home invasions, victims and the accused are strangers; in 11 percent of these cases, victims and the accused are friends, business associates, or family
Here are some recommended tips to help you prepare and defend against the threat of home invasion:
- If your home uses hollow wooden doors rather than doors with solid cores, invest in some heavy duty locks.
- Install security devices in windows such as alarm systems or bars. These devices can be relatively inexpensive, and you do not have to spend a zillion dollars to secure your home.
- Lock all entry ways such as doors and windows at all times.
- If your front door does not have a peephole, have one installed. Your investment will be about $30 which is worth having the ability to see who is at your door before opening it.
- If you have some extra money to spend, install an alarm system such as ADT. Do your homework and shop for the best deals to keep costs low.
- It is highly recommended that you install surveillance cameras inside and outside of your home. However, this equipment can be extremely pricey, and there are less expensive options such as dummy cameras that will give the illusion your property is being monitored.
- If you live in a house, ALWAYS keep the front, sides and back of the property well lit when it is dark.
- When entering your home garage, be especially aware that no one has followed you in. Once you have determined you are alone, immediately close the garage door behind you. If someone has followed you into your garage, lock your car doors and back out immediately and drive away as fast as you can to safety.
- If you live in an apartment complex or dorm, always make sure no one follows you into the building. Proceed to your apartment quickly and lock the door behind you.
- If your apartment, condo or dorm complex offers underground parking, try to park as close to the exit as possible in a well lit area. Before getting out of your car, do a quick scan of your surroundings to make sure there is no suspicious activity at play.
- Keep a personal protection device such as a pepper spray, Mace, stun gun or TASER close to reach inside and outside of your home.
- If you notice any suspicious individuals in your neighborhood, alert neighbors or Neighborhood Watch groups. If your community has an outside security company assigned to patrol your area, call them immediately to report any unusual activity.
- Have a discussion with your family regarding home invasions, preventative measures and escape plans in the event they become necessary.
A well defined personal safety plan is an option that can no longer be ignored. The veracity of living in a world full of economic duress, raging unemployment, relentless foreclosures, and social apathy from too much online networking and very little human interaction clearly defines that society is becoming an increasingly hostile environment to live in. Television shows it, the newspapers report it and statistics prove it. We must stop sticking our heads in the sand like frightened ostriches and deal head on that it ain’t pretty out there. We need to accept it but understand that we DO have the power to prevent the chance of ever falling victim to a ruthless crime. Women and girls must have the strength and the determination to fight back against violence without fear, embarrassment or guilt. You don’t have to be Supergirl to defend yourself and win – awareness, preparedness, and a personal protection device will help you stay in control when circumstance puts you in a precarious situation.
The Justice System Fails Us Once Again
The incompetent decision to keep this predator on the streets to terrorize our children is a clear indication that our justice system is not equipped to protect the public from sex offenders. A psychiatrist who wrote up the probation report on Gardner’s decade old molestation case implored the court that the defendant had "significant predatory traits" toward underage girls and should be kept in prison for as long as possible. But the D.A. decided to plea-bargain and reduced Gardner’s sentence as long as his victim did not have to testify. Consequently, the D.A.’s outrageous decision to put a dangerous sex offender back on the streets after only 5 years of prison time has resulted in the death two young women as well as an unknown number of victims of attempted sexual assault.
The statistics of sex crimes in the United States are shocking and undeniably disturbing. For instance, there are currently over 400,000 registered sex offenders in the United States, and the number of predators that fall through the cracks is unknown. According to the National Alert Registry, over 2,000 children are reported missing every day, and there is a one out of three chance that a child will become a victim of a sexual predator. Eight out of ten rapists are released prior to trial, and 61% of violent sex offenders have a prior record. These numbers are compelling, and it is clear that the justice system is not doing a good enough job from protecting its citizens from sexual predators. As a law-abiding tax payer and the mother of two kids, these statistics are not only frightening, but they are appalling. But before we can see any drastic reduction in sex crimes across the United States, our laws must significantly change to enforce that convicted predators are sentenced to life imprisonment or even the death penalty. Every time a sex offender is placed back into the folds of society, the system is endangering another child’s life.
The United States probation system acts as a revolving door for sexual predators because these criminals have the highest rate of committing the offense over and over again. They are legally allowed to reside in neighborhoods forcing families to live in fear that one of their own will fall victim to the offender’s sick and twisted aggression. The legal system is far too lenient when sentencing sex offenders and instead of severe punishment, their prison sentences are shortened after they have gone through a rehabilitation program that rarely cures their sexually deviant behavior. They are let back out on the streets to act out their violent behavior again and again.
Sex offenders should be punished harshly with a “first strike you’re out” policy that will never allow these criminals out in public again. The first time they are caught and proven guilty of a sex crime, they should be thrown behind bars for life. Some experts suggest chemical castration where the criminal is injected once a month with Depo-Provera, a drug which reduces testosterone levels and sexually fantasies. Chemical Castration therapy is said to cause the rate of relapse to fall to 5%. But the American Civil Liberties Union opposes the coerced administration of any drug, including anti-androgen drugs for sex offenders, arguing that forced chemical castration is a "cruel and unusual punishment". What is cruel and unusual punishment is allowing these monsters to walk free and put women and children at risk.
At the end of the day the law needs to change on how sex offenders are punished for their crimes, but as any political and controversial subject is handled, mounds of red tape, bureaucratic indecision, interference from groups such as the ACL and lack of support from the public will surely prevent law reform to happen any time soon. What this means is that we must do everything we can to protect ourselves and our children from these predators. Unfortunately, it took the murders of Chelsea King and Amber Dubois to cause us to snap back into painful reality and realize the world is not safe, and we need to seriously teach our children how to protect themselves from becoming a victim. There are many free self defense clinics across the country, which specifically teach teenage girls how to fight back and escape from a sexual predator. Academic institutions ranging from elementary to high school should conduct mandatory self defense workshops for each and every grade level. Young girls in particular should always walk or exercise with a buddy, keep the iPod home, have the cell phone on, carry a pepper spray and be distinctly aware of their surroundings. All girls should be taught to NEVER talk to strangers or accept a ride from someone they don’t know really well.
This may sound a bit angry but women need to get their head out of the clouds and stop thinking that bad things just don’t happen to them. Here are five simple rules to follow:
1. Don’t walk around distracted and unfocused (i.e. rummaging through a handbag for keys). Be aware of your surroundings and don’t be distracted by talking or texting on a cell phone or listening to an iPod.
2. Walk tall with confidence, your head held high and your shoulders up to elude a “don’t mess with me” attitude.
3. Avoid walking alone, especially in isolated and dark places. If you must take a remote path, be sure to carry a personal alarm, a working cell phone, and a flashlight if it is in the evening. In addition….
4. Carry a personal protection device such as a pepper spray, mace, TASER or stun gun. These are very effective self defense tools that are legal in most states and will give you a strong advantage when confronted with a threatening situation.
5. When going out to a social event, do not leave your drink unattended, or allow someone you don’t know that well to get you one. Do not drink from an open punch bowl while at a party or have someone make you a drink without you watching. Date rape drugs are becoming very popular, especially among the college crowd, and they work very fast to disorient and confuse the victim. Date rape drugs have no color, no smell and no taste and can knock a person out for as long as 3 or 4 hours. To learn more about date rape drugs, visit www.womenshealth.gov.
If you believe you are a victim of date rape, please do not shower, urinate, douche, brush your teeth, eat or drink or change your clothes. Have a trusted friend or relative drive you to the hospital to request a urine test. Date rape drugs leave the body very quickly, and it is absolutely imperative you are tested right away. The hospital will also use a rape kit to collect evidence. Most importantly, make sure you call 911 at the hospital and tell the police everything you remember. Please believe that being raped is NOT your fault and the more information you can disclose, the better chance the police will have to catch the predator and save another person from being a victim.
Remember that sexual predators come in all shapes and sizes, and there is a good chance that you may even know one. The key is to be aware, to stay protected, and to not take any situation for granted by letting your guard down for a minute. Sexual assault can happen with a blink of an eye, but if you are mentally prepared to face any given circumstance, chances are you will come out of it safe and a stronger person than before.
Two Missing Teens end in Tragedy
My heart goes out to Chelsea King's and Amber Dubois' family for the devastating loss of their beautiful daughters whose lives were snuffed out much too soon. Chelsea was an honor student at Poway High and a member of the San Diego Youth Symphony. She was a cross country runner, a talented musician and well liked among her peers. Chelsea was in the midst of choosing a college after her graduation in May of this year but suddenly, she was gone. One day after school Chelsea decided to take a run alone on the trails of Rancho Bernardo Community Park near Lake Hodge. A few days ago, the search ended tragically when Chelsea's body was found in a shallow grave by Lake Hodges.
On February 13, 2009 Fourteen year old Amber Dubois was on her way to school to exchange Valentine Day gifts with her friends. Amber was also excited to pay for a baby lamb through her school's Future Farmers of America program. She was last seen at around 7:00am only a block from Escondido High School. A little over a year later just days after finding Chelsea King's body, remains of Amber's body were identified in an isolated area of Pala. Her grieving parents suffered a year of not knowing whether their precious child would come home dead or alive. Today, Amber can finally be put to rest, and her parents can finally have closure.
Registered sex offender John Gardner has been officially charged with Chelsea's murder, and he is also possibly being linked to Amber's case. Gardner pleaded guilty for child molestation in 2000 and received a maximum of 11 years. He only received 6, even though court-appointed psychiatrist, Dr. Matthew Cowell who interviewed Gardner, urged that the sex offender receive the maximum sentence allowed by law. Court documents reveal that Dr. Cowell reported Gardner was a "continued danger to underage girls in the community" and an "extremely poor candidate" for treatment. It is shocking that the Judge shortened this monster's sentence despite the foreboding warning that he will commit more crimes against girls.
What is wrong with our justice system today where we let known sex offenders back on the streets to abduct, rape or murder another child? Does anyone in the District Attorney's office have daughters of their own? How would they feel if they had to experience the horrific pain and devastation of losing a child to a sexual predator who was let back out on the streets due to parole? What would they do if their daughter went missing and had to spend agonizing and gut-wrenching days waiting to hear if their little girl was found alive or dead?
The laws for convicted sex offenders must change. First time sex offenders should NEVER be released from prison but should be given the death penalty if proven guilty. It is a known fact that sex offenders cannot be rehabilitated, and they are a threat to society no matter how much therapy they receive. To allow these vicious animals back into society so that they can prey on another innocent child is the same as giving permission for the criminal to do so. Forcing sex offenders to register their address and information apparently doesn't do any good. Neighbors of Gardner's parents had no idea that a child molester was living right next door to them, because many times, the information on these sex offenders are often not available or inaccurate.
In light of the tragic loss of Chelsea and Amber, I hope deaths are not in vain and that their murders will invoke changes in the law on the sentencing of sex offenders. It's a terrible shame that we had to lose two beautiful children to serve as a wake up call that just because a sex offender is "registered," it does not make us any more safe from the predator's sick and twisted thoughts and actions. There is no cure that will take away a sex offender's urge to perform unspeakable acts against humanity. Why in God's name do we give these deranged fiends any rights at all to live among society and give them another opportunity to brutally hurt and possibly kill another human being?
It is also grossly unfair for the justice system to allow such scum to walk our streets to yet again to act out their evil and twisted behavior on our children. If the law doesn't change to reflect the horrendous aspects of child molestation, rape and murder, then we as citizens of the United States should have our constitutional right to bear arms to protect ourselves and our family from these predators.
My final thought on the shocking deaths of these two girls is that as parents, we need to do a better job in protecting our children against violent crimes. We can no longer stick our heads in the sand and believe that this could never happen to my daughter. But it did -- twice that we know of and who knows the countless other missing girls we still haven't found with their parents holding on to a glimmer of hope that their chld will come home alive. We need to educate our children of the dangers of walking alone and the risks of talking to strangers. Our children need to be taught effective self defense techniques so they have a fighting chance to get away. Children love to scream while playing, and they need to know to use their vocal cords the same way in times of danger. Our children need to be armed with a personal alarm that they can set off if a predator tries to abduct them. Rapists do not like attention drawn to them, and the loud shrill of an alarm or whistle may scare them off before any harm is done. Teenagers are responsible enough to carry a personal protection device such as a pepper spray or Mace as another tool to fight back if faced with a dangerous situation. Lastly, children must be taught to always be aware of their surroundings and to avoid listening to their music devices, texting or talking on a cell phone while they are out and about. Distractions are their worst enemy and sex offenders seek out potential victims who are not paying attention.
I wish you and yours a very safe 2010 and that you never have to experience the heartbreaking loss in which Chelsea's and Amber's parents are going through right now. I will not suggest that I have any idea of how the King and Dubois family are coping with their unimaginable situation, but we pray that they will somehow find the strength to carry on through their daughters' spirits and the memory of how their lives touched so many people.
Another Missing Teen in San Diego. How do we keep our kids safe?
Chelsea King is a beautiful, 17 year old girl with her whole life ahead of her. Chelsea is an honor student at Poway High and a member of the San Diego Youth Symphony. She is a cross country runner, a talented musician and well liked among her peers. Chelsea was in the midst of choosing a college after her graduation in May of this year but suddenly, she was gone. One day after school Chelsea decided to take a run alone on the trails of Rancho Bernardo Community Park near Lake Hodge. She has not been seen or heard from since. Since Chelsea’s disappearance, volunteers and authorities have been vigilantly searching for the teen as far away as San Bernardino and Santa Barbara counties while lifeguards scour the San Diego coast line. Chelsea’s parents are devastated and are in shock that their beloved daughter is missing. Dan Schaitel, Chelsea’s cross-country coach, said that “the children are well-versed, especially the girls, to never go on a run by themselves,” So why did Chelsea decide to run on her own even though she knew it wasn’t safe? Did Chelsea really believe it would be dangerous to run without a companion or did she actually think that nothing bad could happen to her within this seemingly perfect community?
I have lived in San Diego for almost 20 years, and I am consistently amazed with the “it will never happen to me” attitude among the people who live in this county. I am a parent of two children and from the time they were old enough to understand, my husband and I have drummed into their heads to never walk anywhere by themselves and to never EVER talk to strangers. I don’t understand the mentality that because we are living in Southern California, life here is as perfect as the weather – NOT. San Diego is no longer the sleepy bedroom community of 40 years ago where over development, and over population didn’t exist. San Diego of the past was a small town, a quiet and inexpensive suburbia that exemplified Southern California paradise. San Diego today is a border city with border city issues. The flow of guns and drugs has spilled over from our neighbors to the South as well as the increased traffic of undocumented immigrants. According to a study from the Violent Crimes Institute, 139,000 sex crimes are annually committed by illegal aliens, a demographic that occupies a fair-sized portion of San Diego County. On top of that there are over 115,000 registered sex offenders in California alone, ranking the state as the 9th highest US per Capita (National Sex Offender List). Information and the residence of these sex offenders are available at http://www.familywatchdog.us
Although statistics are reporting that San Diego’s crime rate has declined in 2009, these numbers are not the impetus for us to leave our doors and windows unlocked and to walk around with our head in the clouds. Violent crime is still very much a reality in San Diego, and it needs to be taken seriously.
Parents have to take the time to consistently talk to their kids and reinforce that it is dangerous to walk alone and they should always travel within a group, especially in rural and desolate areas. Teenagers are old enough to responsibly carry a personal protection device such as a pepper spray or mace and use it only when absolutely necessary. Self defense courses are rarely taught in public schools, and parents have to make it their business to sign their kids up for self-defense classes so that they are prepared to protect themselves if faced with a potentially violent situation. Jennifer Johnson, founder of Heat Self Defense in San Diego, is dedicated to empowering girls and women through mental and physical self defense training that could someday save their lives. Jennifer is an ex-cop who holds a degree in Criminal Justice Degree at Sacramento State University, and she truly believes in giving young women and girls the tools to learn how to be confident and powerful without living in fear. Visit www.heatselfdefense.com to learn more about Jennifer’s self defense techniques. Stingergirlz will schedule an entire blog dedicated to Jennifer, her self defense classes and what motivates her to help teach women and girls on how to protect themselves.
Even the nicest areas aren't safe, and the disappearance of Chelsea should at the very least serve as a wake-up call that we are not in Kansas anymore. This article is not to bash San Diego, but only an attempt to remind people that whether you live in a small town, big city, or a rural community, we should never forget that predators are everywhere and we cannot let our guard down for a minute. Remember the brutal home invasion murder of Kimberly Cates in the tiny rural town of Nashua, New Hampshire last fall? The community was shocked that such a horrific crime could happen in their quiet and safe neighborhood. Kimberly, 42 was viciously stabbed in her head, arms and torso, and her 11 year old daughter sustained critical stab wounds that required hours of surgery. This killing was a random act in which the attackers had no connection to the victims. John Quinlan, chairman of the Mont Vernon Board of Selectmen, said "Serious crime, particularly murder," Quinlan said, "is something that doesn't happen here, something you always see on television happening somewhere else. He also continued to state "I know that's an old thing to say about small-town America, but it really is true." Is it really true? I don’t think so.
Small Town America is a concept of the past, just like Leave it to Beaver, Howdy Doody, and 5 cent cokes. Our world is a very different place than the idyllic image of American suburbia with the white picket fence and mom always home to welcome her family with a hug and a hot meal on the table. The 21st Century brings a brand new reality of both parents working, latch-key kids coming home to an empty house, fast-food dinners and very little family time. Children today have too much freedom because there is no parent or guardian home to enforce rules and to set boundaries.
Face-to-face communication is also slowly becoming extinct and replaced by email, texting, and social networking applications. In my opinion that as society becomes more isolated from social interaction, the less there will be empathy and compassion for each other as human beings. We are living in a world of technology where emotions and feelings are dictated by make believe characters in which fighting, shooting and killing is the major preoccupation. Our reactions to violence have become desensitized to the point where we don’t even believe it is real anymore but only a computer game where no one really gets hurt. Violent crimes could never happen to us because it doesn’t exist. But on the contrary, technology has opened the door to a whole new range of issues such as sexting, cyber stalking and bullying allowing predators into our home by way of the internet. Children now can be harassed 24/7 on a global level without ever leaving their room. Unless parents educate themselves on the signs that their child may be a victim of cyber crime, it could lead to a deadly conclusion such as depression and suicide.
· Chelsea has strawberry blond hair, blue eyes, 5 feet 5 inches tall and weighs about 115 pounds.
· Amber Dubois has brown short/medium hair, blue eyes, 5 feet 5 inches tall and weighs about 125 pounds from the time of her disappearance.
As I am writing this article, evidence has been found that has led to the arrest of registered sex-offender, 30 year old John Albert Gardner who resides in Lake Elsinore, 75 miles north of San Diego County. Chelsea has still yet to be found after 1,400 volunteers and 100 law enforcement agents searched on Sunday, February 28, 2010.
Cyber-Bullying: A Deadly Trend among Teens
Phoebe Prince was a 15 year old immigrant from Ireland whose family recently moved to Massachusetts. Phoebe, a red-headed beauty, appeared to be happy and stable during her transition into a new life far away from her Emerald Isle home. But underneath Phoebe’s cheery facade, the freshman was being persecuted relentlessly by her schoolmates. The taunts were endless, and “Irish slut” and “whore” became her nicknames. Phoebe never discussed her anguish with anyone, not even with her close friends. Then the horrendous ridicule slithered its way from beyond the walls of her High School and into the black hole of cyberspace. Phoebe’s harassment then became non-stop, and she finally found peace from the only option she thought she had -- suicide. Phoebe was found dead in her home a few days before a big school dance on January 14, 2010.
Cyber-bullying has become a popular form of intimidation, which is far more lethal than schoolyard taunts. During a CBS news interview, Meline Kevorkian, the author of ‘101 Facts About Bullying,’ explained that “Cyber-bullying can be so dangerous because it can lead to cyber-mobbing, which means kids can come together to attack another kid, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.”
Phoebe isn’t the only deadly cyber-bullying case that has made headlines. Thirteen year old Megan Meier took her own life in 2006 when her neighbor’s mother posed as a 16 year old boy and relentlessly terrorized the teen on MySpace. No criminal charges were brought against the woman because the police did not have a charge to fit in the connection of Megan’s death. The Meiers, however, are petitioning to get federal and state laws changed so that an adult will be charged with a crime if the individual is involved in the cyber-bullying of a minor. Visit http://www.meganmeierfoundation.org/ to read more about Megan’s tragic story.
Cyber-bullying is a serious form of harassment and can lead to deadly consequences. i-SAFE Inc., a non-profit foundation dedicated to empowering and educating kids to stay safe while on the internet (www.isafe.org) has compiled the following Cyber Bullying Statistics based on their 2004 survey of 1,500 students grades 4-8:
- 42% of kids have been bullied while online. 1 in 4 has had it happen more than once.
- 35% of kids have been threatened online. Nearly 1 in 5 has had it happen more than once.
- 21% of kids have received mean or threatening e-mail or other messages.
- 58% of kids admit someone has said mean or hurtful things to them online. More than 4 out of 10 say it has happened more than once.
- 53% of kids admit having said something mean or hurtful to another person online. More than 1 in 3 has done it more than once.
- 58% have not told their parents or an adult about something mean or hurtful that happened to them online.
Cyber Bullying is just as, and perhaps more hurtful than any physical abuse from a schoolyard scuffle. There are no tell-tale signs for parents to identify when their child is being cyber-bullied, and the psychological effects of being humiliated can be quite devastating to a child.
Here is a recollection of a young woman’s own account when she was a victim of cyber-bullying:
“Towards the end of the school year last year, I stayed home, and I started receiving all of these texts saying from different people saying how no one liked me, and I was weird. Someone had stolen my best friend’s phone and started sending me the most horrible messages, and I thought my best friend hated me. There was 4 days left of school, I stayed home for the rest of the year. I spent the summer with no friends. I had never felt so alone”.
Cyber-Bullying is a topic that demands more awareness and education both at home and at school. Here are some tips that kids should follow if they become the target of cyber-bullying:
- Tell a trusted adult about the bullying, and keep telling until the adult takes action.
- Don’t open or read messages by cyber bullies.
- Tell your school if it is school related. Schools have a bullying solution in place.
- Don’t erase the messages—they may be needed to take action.
- Protect yourself—never agree to meet with the person or with anyone you meet online.
- If bullied through chat or instant messaging, the “bully” can often be blocked.
- If you are threatened with harm, inform the local police.
Technology has made it super easy for friends and family to connect, but it also has opened the doors for malicious and spiteful conduct to enter our homes with a click of a button. It is vital that parents recognize the signs of cyber-bullying whether their child is a victim or the intimidator. Jace Shoemaker-Galloway has dedicated 4 years of her life to the education of internet safety, and she has worked with over a thousand elementary students to teach them about online safety awareness. Jace is a feature writer on Suite 101, and her article, Cyberbullying-The Warning Signs: The Signs and Symptoms of Electronic Bullying, reveals important cyber bullying clues that parents should be aware of:
If a child is being harassed or bullied online, he or she may: 
- Be reluctant to use the computer or electronic device
- Avoid discussion about what they are doing on the computer, or other electronic device
- Look or appear nervous, anxious or jumpy when receiving an email, IM or text message
- Display unusual anger, sadness, and depression after using the computer or electronic device
- Discuss revenge
- Exit or click out of whatever they are doing, if a person walks by
- Unexpectedly quits using the computer or electronic device
- Be having trouble sleeping or have other sleeping disturbances
- Show a decline in school homework or grades
- Have an unusual interest in self-harm or in suicide
- Exhibit unusual mood swings
- Not feel well, headaches, upset stomach
- Become reclusive, anti-social and/or is losing friends
- Be unusually withdrawn or depressed
- Not want to be involved in family or school activities
Signs a child may be the bully:
- He or she may use numerous online accounts or accounts that are not theirs
- When using the computer or electronic device, he or she excessively laughs
- May avoid discussion or conversations regarding online activities
- May close or click out whatever he or she is doing when a person walks by
- May frequently use the computer, especially at night
- May become upset if computer access or other electronic device is denied
Internet safety is an important issue that parents need to get educated on so that they can pass this knowledge onto their kids. The more that parents; educators and students are informed about this very real social sickness, the more likely cyber-bullying will become unacceptable in everyone’s household.
Recent Posts
- Amber Alert on Facebook - Christina Anderson - Child Abduction
- Protecting Yourself While in Your Car
- Campus Safety Comparison Chart
- October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month
- Personal Safety Plan – Be Prepared to Defend Yourself
- The Justice System Fails Us Once Again
- Two Missing Teens end in Tragedy
- Another Missing Teen in San Diego. How do we keep our kids safe?
- Cyber-Bullying: A Deadly Trend among Teens
- Teen Relationship Violence – Is your Child a Victim?
