People of power and privilege, both men and women, historically have engaged in extramarital affairs. Having money and time on their hands, they indulge in all of life's pleasures, including extramarital sex. A big difference today, however, is that journalists and the internet make it certain that eventually they will be caught.
"I thought I could get away with whatever I wanted to. I felt that I had worked hard my entire life and deserved to enjoy all the temptations around me. I felt I was entitled. Thanks to money and fame, I didn't have to go far to find them," Woods said in his recent press conference.
Talented Tiger Woods, through hard work and discipline, rose to the pinnacle of success in the world of golf, and fame and riches followed. In his private life, married to a beautiful woman and the father of two adorable children, he seemed centered, modest, and generous, funding important programs to benefit underprivileged children.
But once the sordid truth about Tiger's multiple extramarital affairs were exposed, he needed cover, so he signed himself into a kind of "sanitarium" where people rich enough to engage in excessive sexual activity also can afford the treatment. When he made his first public statements a few days ago, I was glad he never used the phrase "sexual addiction," because personally I do not see excessive sex, excessive eating, excessive gambling, excessive exercising or excessive working as "addictions." One can use sex, like all of these activities, to deal with anxiety, loneliness and feelings of emptiness, and all of these activities help people avoid addressing their deeper and more painful issues. In my opinion these are neurotic compulsive behaviors that can be successfully addressed in insight oriented therapies.
It is possible that Tiger Woods's issues are more banal. Prior to being caught, he was disciplined in keeping his game topnotch and keeping in top physical shape. He was very focused and able to maintain his image. Perhaps he is just another rich and famous man with strong narcissistic traits and an extraordinary sexual appetite and simply wanted to satisfy it while it lasted.
Based on some of his public statements a few days ago, however, and his plan to go back into therapy at the treatment center where he had been, he may indeed suffer from neurotic compulsive behaviors that can be treated with insight oriented analysis.
"My real apology to [Elin] will not come in the form of words; it will come from my behavior over time," Woods said. Only time will tell his wife and the rest of us whether Tiger Woods can keep his resolve to never engage in extramarital behavior again.
I'm Dr. Blokar. For more information, click on the following resources: