I'm no psychologist, but that hasn't kept me from having a strong opinion rooted in psychology when it comes to the subject of "saving oneself" for marriage, aka abstinence. As I see it, the way someone expresses himself/herself sexually is a crucial part of one's personality, so waiting until the wedding night to reveal it seems ludicrous. The time before marriage, at least in Western cultures, should be a period of discovery, a time to learn the "lay of the land", so to speak. Wouldn't it behoove a couple to discover beforehand if they have sexual chemistry? I'm sure many of us have experienced the frustration of dating someone who's wonderful to be with but just doesn't "push our buttons" in the bedroom. For these reasons, this is why I don't find a vow of celibacy admirable but, rather, something to advise against.
So what's really behind abstinence or virginity "pledges"? I often wonder if someone's choice to wait until their wedding night masks an inability to come to grips with a lack of desire for the opposite-sex. Yes, Tim Tebow, America's most famous virgin (pictured), I'm thinking of you.
Comments