In the Huddle with the NFL's Sexiest Quarterbacks

In a previous post about baseball players I observed that, in terms of sex appeal, they were head and shoulders above the largely obese and no-necked Neanderthals of the NFL.  Quarterbacks, however, are a different breed as most have physiques more similar to baseball players.  Out of the league's 30 teams, here are the ten that I think have the most sex appeal.  

 

 

• JIMMY GAROPPOLO/San Francisco 49ers (28 years old, 6'2", 225 lbs.) - In an earlier version of this post, published in 2013, another 49ers QB made this list - Colin Kaepernick. Before coming to the 49ers Garoppolo was back-up for the Patriots' Tom Brady (see below).

 

 

• MARCUS MARIOTA/Tennessee Titans (26 years old, 6'4", 222 lbs.) - Born in Hawaii (and of Hawaian/German heritage), Mariota replaced the Titans previous starting QB, Ryan Fitzpatrick, who was on the previous list.

 

 

 

• MITCH TRUBISKY/Chicago Bears (25 years old, 6'2", 215 lbs.) - Trubisky was part of a feature in GQ in the spring of 2017 that showed NFL rookies in suits.

 

 

• JOE FLACCO/Denver Broncos (34, 6'6", 245 lbs.) - Flacco led the Baltimore Ravens to victory in Super Bowl XLVII in 2013, and was traded to Denver in 2019.

 

 

• TOM BRADY/New England Patriots (42, 6'4", 225 lbs) - The David Beckham of the NFL, Brady is one of the most telegenic players in the league.  He has six Super Bowl rings and has been named Super Bowl MVP four times.  Many love to hate him as he plays for a powerhouse team , is handsome and his wife is Brazilian model Gisele Bundchen.  He's been on the cover of GQ and hosted Saturday Night Live.  (However, he doesn't have nearly as many endorsements as Peyton Manning.)

 

 

• RUSSELL WILSON/Seattle Seahawks (30, 5'11", 215 lbs) - The only QB on this list who isn't taller than six feet, Wilson is the third youngest QB to lead a Super Bowl team (2014).  He signed a contract in 2019 that made him the highest paid NFL player.  For a number of years he touted the fact that after he divorced is first wife he was celibate; he's now married to R&B singer Ciara ("Love, Sex, Magic").

 

 

 

• CAM NEWTON/Carolina Panthers (30, 6'5", 245 lbs).  Starred in commercials for Dannon but was fired in 2017 after making a sexist comment to a female sports reporter.  He was also widely criticized for storming out of a press conference after his team lost the Super Bowl to the Patriots in 2016.

 

 

 

 

• RYAN FITZPATRICK/Miami Dolphins (36, 6'2", 228 lbs.) - Fitzpatrick had a controlled beard when he played for Tennessee in 2013-14 (below) but it's become full blown Grizzly Adams since going to the Dolphins in 2019.

 

 

 

 

• ALEX SMITH/Washington Redskins (35, 6'4", 213 lbs) - This is his first season with the Redskins after five seasons with the Kansas City Chiefs.  Smith's first team was the 49ers, but after an injury he lost his starting quarterback slot to Colin Kaepernecke, and the rest is history.  

 

 

What follows are quarterbacks who were included in this post when it was first published five years ago but have since retired (vital stats reflect 2019).

 

• COLIN KAEPERNICK/SF 49ers (32, 6'4", 230 lbs) - Back when he was playing, Kaepernick was the QB most likely to be photographed bare chested, mostly to show his extensive tattoos, which brought to mind a Maori tribesman.  Of course, he became notorious in 2016 after knelt during the playing of the National Anthem before games to protest police treatment of blacks.  This resulted in him becoming a pariah to NFL team owners; he hasn't played in the past three seasons.

 

 

• CHRISTIAN PONDER/Minnesota Vikings (31 years old, 6'2", 239 lbs) - Could be Joe Flacco's brother (with longer hair) or actor Mark Ruffalo. Retired after the 2016 season.

 

 

• MARK SANCHEZ/NY Jets (33, 6'2", 232 lbs) - Sanchez was the Jets starting QB until he was injured in a pre-season game, so he gets an Honorary Mention.  He's endeared himself to gay fans in New York with his often expressed love of Broadway shows.  After the Jets Sanchez played for five more teams and retired after the 2018 season.

 

 

• TONY ROMO/Dallas Cowboys (39, 6'2", 230 lbs) - Romo spent his entire 14-year career with the Cowboys, retiring after the 2016 season (he's now a color analyst for CBS Sports' NFL games).  He received extensive media attention back in 2007-09 when he was dating pop singer Jessica Simpson. 

 

 

Finally, an honorary mention must be given to retired quarterback Kurt Warner of the Arizona Cardinals.  Now 48 years old, he's been out of the NFL for ten years, but ranks among the sexiest QBs of all time.

 

 

Andre Braugher Plays the "Straight Man" in Gay Role on "Brooklyn Nine-Nine"

 

 

I'm not a big Andy Samberg fan, but I've been tuning in to his new Fox sitcom, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, because one of its characters, captain Ray Holt, is gay.  Played by Emmy Award winning actor Andre Braugher, it's quite a departure from his usual dramatic roles (e.g., Homicide; Law & Order).  He serves as a great foil to the man-child played by Samberg.  Braugher joins a small list of African American actors who have played a regular character who's gay, including Michael Boatman in 90s sitcom Spin City (as Carter Heywood); Matthew St. Patrick in Six Feet Under (as Keith Charles); and Nelsan Ellis in True Blood (as Lafayette Reynolds).

 

 

Although the focus of the show is on Samberg, it is Braugher's captain Holt who gets my attention.  I'm captivated by his soulful gaze and the comedic gravity he brings to the role.  And although viewers have been told that his sexual orientation kept him from being promoted to captain back in the 1990s, his orientation is only occasionally referenced.  However, it has also been established that he has a partner, whose name is Kevin (I think Edris Elba would be perfect in that role.)        

And although chances are good that the show may not live past its first season, I enjoy the show because its silliness is nicely tempered by the adult presence provided by Braugher.

 

 

 

(Sadly, Braugher died in December 2023 at the age of 61.)

"Jingle Bells" or "Jingle Balls"? Kmart Decks the Halls with Charmingly Risque TV Ad

Now this is some "ballsy" advertising!  Kmart recently unveiled a holiday ad for the 2013 season for its Joe Boxer line of men's boxer shorts (titled "Show Your Joe").  In it six studly bell-ringers go from ringing traditional bells to shaking their balls while showing off their boxers in a quasi Chippendale's production.  Although risque, it's also charming, and Kmart maintained some dignity as the bell ringers kept their tuxedo jackets on throughout.  Gay apparel indeed - and a delightful ad you don't want to fast-forward through!  Double cllick here to view it.

 

Here are a few other holiday-themed posts you may enjoy:

A Salute to Ads that Spread Holiday Cheer 

Bette Midler Spreads Holiday Cheer in Honda Ad

Martha Stewart's First Christmas Special Airs