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Shrinking Violets & Hothouse Flowers in the Men's Locker Room

Lockerroom2 MenslockerroomsignA locker room is a cross-section of gym members all possessing unique quirks when it comes to body image.  I find myself most fascinated by two types - those guys who timidly change and, at the other end of the spectrum, the extroverts who can't spend enough time strutting around and putting on a little show.  And their lockers are often side-by-side, making the contrast even more striking. 


The "hothouse flowers" take their time drying off, shaving, putting on moisturizer.  Some do this with everything swinging in the breeze.  Others wear stylish/sexy briefs that they like to prance around in.  If a rotating stand was available I'm sure these preening peacocks would eagerly step up on it (a la American Bandstand's "spotlight dance"). 




Meanwhile, the shrinking violets change under their towels (aka "the towel dance") as if they were at a school for Muslim girls (I'm sure the Taliban would approve of their modesty).  And it's not the older, out-of-shape guys - it's the younger, cute ones.  Curiously, I've seen some of them strutting around on the workout floor in tight fitting shorts and tanks, yet they become blushing virgins in the close confines of the change room.  Perhaps it's generational, as many young adults when in high school weren't required to take showers after Phys Ed.  (Or, perhaps, it's one more anti-social behavior to blame on social media?)




As for me, I lean towards the hothouse category, i.e, I walk to the shower without wrapping my towel around myself because it's just a 10-scond walk, so why bother?  But I do hang my towel in front of my privates as I walk (after all, I didn't read Emily Post's book on etiquette for nothing.)




(While doing research on this subject I came across a post on the blog The Straight Dope titled, Why Do Men Do the "Underwear Towel Dance at the Gym?  The responses it elicited were very illuminating.)


Maury Schott

Ah, fond memories of those old Nova movies, like "Lockerroom Fever".
Wait... what was this post about again?


When I was in high school I worked at a local gym and one of the handsomest young men I’d ever seen would arrive late to run on the treadmills, finishing his shower after most everyone else had left the gym and just a few minutes before closing time. We would go knock on the door while he was in (or just out of) the showers, and if he replied we’d pretend we didn’t hear it and act surprised when we walked up on him while he was naked.

At least five or six of us did this successfully at least once. I’m pretty sure he knew we only went in there to see him naked.

*We were all 16-19 y/o girls.

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