Republican Versus Democratic Eye Candy

Republicans control both Houses of Congress - and they also seem to have an edge when it comes to handsome men (Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is an exception).  From the Ronald Reagan school of politics, they engage with their dazzling smiles and Hollywood good looks.  But although their faces may be chiseled and handsome, their misguided political beliefs nullify these physical attributes.  As the narrator in Into the Woods observed about Cinderella's step sisters, "They were beautiful of face, but vile and black of heart."  Handsome Democrats, on the other hand, follow the George Clooney playbook, using their animal magnetism to draw attention to causes that benefit the nation's welfare.  They may be outnumbered by Republicans but the team they field is on the side of the angels.

 

REPUBLICAN HEAD TURNERS

 

Miami mayor, Francis Suarez

 

Marco Rubio, baby-faced US Senator from Florida and 2016 presidential candidate; looks like baldness is in his future (and his ears are unusually prominent for someone so young).

 

 

Yet another Floridian, David Jolly was briefly a congressman in the 2010s and is now a prominent critic of Trump who eventually left the Republican party. 

 

Rick Perry, the former benighted governor of Texas later became Trump's benighted Secretary of Energy

 

Jon Huntsman, former governor of Utah and 2012 presidential candidate; too sensible to be a Republican 

 

Scott Brown, former Massachusetts senator and one-time Playgirl centerfold

 

Vice President Mike Pence first received national attention as governor of Indiana for his misguided Freedom of Religion act

 

Aaron Schock, better known for appearing shirtless on the cover of Men's Health than for anything he accomplished in the House of Representatives while representing Illinois. He was forced to resign after spending $50K to redecorate his DC office, at taxpayer expense, to resemble the decor of Downton Abbey.  In 2020 he decided to come out.

 

JC Watts, former Oklahoma Sooner football player and a former Congressman from Oklahoma

 

Ted Haggard, former leader of The New Life Church, was brought low after his relationship with a male escort was made public by the escort.

 

Eric Cantor, sexy in a nerdy way, but I always  wanted to smack the smirk off his face - something his Virginia constituents accomplished when they voted him out of office in 2014.

 

Mitt Romney, former Massachusetts governor who introduced the nation to mandatory health coverage and his belief that 47% of voters are moochers. Lost to Barack Obama in the 2012 presidential election

 

Jeff Flake, one-term Senator from Arizona (thru 2019) who decided not to run for re-election because it would have required him to fight to win.  This photo looks like it was torn out of the LL Bean catalog

 

Cory Gardner, newly elected senator from Colorado

 

David Vitter, US senator from Louisiana. His admission to patronizing prostitutes didn't keep his constituents from re-electing him.

 

Brian Sandoval, former two-term governor of Nevada (2011-2019)

 

Adam Kinzinger, another hottie congressman from Illinois

 

Sean Duffy, former  congressman from Wisconsin, resembles late actor Cory Monteigh  ("Glee")

 

DEMOCRATS WHO TURN HEADS

They may be fewer in number but the stable of sexy Democrats still pack a punch (sorry, Anthony Weiner, you did not make this list) ...

 

Deval Patrick, former governor of Massachusetts. Sexy as hell with a great name to boot.

 

Antonio Villaraigosa, former mayor of Los Angeles

Martin O'Malley, former governor of Maryland

 

 

Pennsylvania representative Brian Sims. What can be said except, WOW (or perhaps, woof!).

 

Gavin Newsom, governor of California and former lieutenant governor and mayor of San Francisco

 

Jack Conway, attorney general of Kentucky

 

Martin Heinrich, senator from New Mexico

 

Sam Adams, former gay mayor of Portland, OR.

 

Cedric Richmond, congressman from Louisiana

 

Eric Swalwell, congressman from California and briefly threw his hat in the ring during the 2020 presidential campaign

 

Juan Castro, mayor of San Antonio. His identical twin brother, Joaquin, is a congressman from Texas.  Like Swalwell, he too pursued the Democratic nomination for president.

 

 

Comments

[Denny Smith]

Brian Sims wins. Period. No contest. He’s the Great American Hero of Brotherly Love.

But Adam Kinzinger could give Brian some competition if he’d lose the pro-gun, anti-gay, no health-plan 15th-century politics.

[Sam]

not a contest, hands-down landslide the Democrats win!