Volcanic eruptions bubble and spurt when feisty Mars retrogrades in staid Virgo. Prepare to rearrange your various boring landscapes and ratchet up your dry cleaning bills for all the spillage. Prepare to rearrange your various boring landscapes and ratchet up your dry cleaning bills for all the spillage.
(Cameron Diaz has Mars in Virgo)
Never miss your horoscope again -- free sign up here. Here is my favorite book on astrology and a "must" for anyone interested in learning more: Secrets from a Stargazer's Notebook: Making Astrology Work for You and here's a guide to the best books available this month. This column is (c) 2011 THE STARRY EYE, LLC., All Rights Reserved. For Entertainment Purposes Only. Madam Lichtenstein is the author of the best selling astrology book “HerScopes ” now in its 8th printing and available as an eBook.
ARIES (MARCH 21 - APRIL 20)
Aries with a burning desire to exercise and diet will find that their tactics produce some surprising results. You want to take action now which has you eating all sorts of unusual, tasteless things. There is the promise of a new you in all your effort but the reality is the delivery of a very unexpected you. Atkins schmatkins. Who wants thin pinkies anyway?
TAURUS (APRIL 21 - MAY 21)
Party hearty Taureans find that they have a tendency to overdo it this week. Anything fun and frivolous can either get way out of hand or immediately has diminishing returns. You can become a dissipated old thing in a matter of minutes. And yet there is something pulling you into the hazy crazy vortex. Which way is up? Do you really care?
GEMINI (MAY 22 - JUNE 21)
Is your house built on rock or sand, Gemini? The fates will shake your concept of home and family to its very foundations. Did the earth move for you? Good. It will loosen the dust that has been collecting in all the corners and crevices. When all the rock and roll is over, you can mop up the mess and admire the refreshingly clean environment for a change. Ahem.
CANCER (JUNE 22 - JULY 23)
Simple plans for simple minds simply will not do. For those Cancers with an IQ over their body temperature, this week will deliver a gushing font of creative and clever ideas. Clever, that is, until you try to express them publicly. Those who do not know you will assume that you are not quite based in reality. Better keep your lips together and legs apart.
LEO (JULY 24 - AUGUST 23)
Fools and their money are soon parted. Leos can’t seem to hold on their loot and may purchase “necessities” that are anything but. There are so many enticing things that you simply must have now. But there is a risk that you will get yourself into a deep hole that is impossible to overcome. Watch your bottom line and don't spend on a whim or a dream.
VIRGO (AUGUST 24 - SEPTEMBER 23)
There is a secret swirling around in certain circles that the pushy persona you present at this time is different from your usual role as practical helpmate. Those rumors are true, Virgo. Forget about waiting for someone to act. You are a force with whom to be reckoned with the wind in your sails, starch in your pants and a spring in your step. Such a strange walk though....
LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 24 - OCTOBER 23)
Did you have a secret? Well perhaps once upon a time. Now it’s all yesterday’s news. Everything you tried to hide has been prodded, poked and pushed. Be prepared Libra; the fates unleash your Pandora’s Box of secrets. Instead of holding on, your best bet is to let loose of old, tired sacred cows and have a rousing barbeque. Yummy.
SCORPIO (OCTOBER 24 - NOVEMBER 22)
Scorpios have some rather high expectations of friends now. Unfortunately your expectations may be rather unrealistic. Tread carefully as you proceed in your jolly platonic plans. Friends’ reactions are apt to be very contrary and very unexpected, as are yours to them. Better give pals an extra inch this week. Heck, why not make it a yard?
SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 23 - DECEMBER 22)
Just when you thought that you reached the top of the corporate heap, some joker pulls you down and under. Sagittarians feel relegated to the sub-basement. Anything you try to do to impress and strive comes off looking manipulative and contrived. On the bright side, this is an excellent time to become invisible. How about a vacation? Hint hint...
CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 23 - JANUARY 20)
Before you set out on a new path, pack a few extra provisions in your knapsack. The week provides shocking surprises on the happy trail than one would normally anticipate. But who says that life shouldn't have a bit of the unexpected to spice things up? Travels provide you with a certain oomph and a chance a viewing the world from a different angle. Upside down?
AQUARIUS (JANUARY 21 - FEBRUARY 19)
Sexy Aquarians overstep their ardor this week. Your are ripe and raring to go go go. But are your eyes are too big for your stomach (as well as other parts)? Take a ride in the slow lane and be more discerning and patient. Things remain ... er... interesting for a while. At least you will have a few delicious stories to serve over dinner when the sauce is finally cooked.
PISCES (FEBRUARY 20 - MARCH 20)
Relationships undergo some significant changes. Surprises and a shifting of the foundation will become the norm, at least for the next few months. Ride the waves and see how things manifest. Pisces who are fishing for a connection may find themselves head over heels for someone very contrary to type. Are you ready to try this new and interesting position?