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Horoscope for the Week of April 1, 2019

Marlon brandoWelcome the exciting month of April, not just because Jupiter retrogrades and magnifies everything but also the rush of planets through bold Aries. Hold onto your hats, along with your sanity. Yikes!

(Marlon Brando had Jupiter in Sagittarius)

Never miss your horoscope again -- free sign up here. Here is my favorite book on astrology and a "must" for anyone interested in learning more: Secrets from a Stargazer's Notebook: Making Astrology Work for You and here's a guide to the best books available this month. This column is (c) 2018 MADAM LICHTENSTEIN, LLC., All Rights Reserved. For Entertainment Purposes Only. Madam Lichtenstein is the author of the best selling astrology book “HerScopes ” now in its 10th printing and available as an eBook

ARIES (MARCH 21 - APRIL 20)
No sooner do you feel that you have solid footing than the ground shifts and sends you into an entirely different direction. What will you do? Will it be a slow pivot or a brash advance? Just take a breath, check out the landscape and make your best move. You know who and what is going on. You will have them panting for more, Aries.

TAURUS (APRIL 21 - MAY 21)
Things come into focus and are clarified now, Taurus. Even a deep dark secret will see the light of day. So what will you do with all of this insight? Take it to the limit! Let your imagination soar and gather all sorts of knowledge. Then make yourself heard on a major, global basis. Who knows where it will take you? And who will go with you?

GEMINI (MAY 22 - JUNE 21)
Friends may horn in on your act. Maybe you should let them. Some of your best pals are well placed with contacts in areas where you really want to be ... but are not there yet. Geminis with a yearning for fame, power and success should use their network to network. Today the tiny neighborhood clubs. Tomorrow the world. Heh. Heh.

CANCER (JUNE 22 - JULY 23)
Cancers may want to make their mark in the world but will need to consider the wishes of partners as they navigate. Balance is everything now and you want to be sure that as you move up the corporate ladder, there will be someone nearby to share your success. They say it is lonely at the top. So you know what you need to do. Now do it diplomatically.

LEO (JULY 24 - AUGUST 23)
Work may start to pile up. But don’t be overwhelmed, Leo. You may find that as the pace quickens you will find new ways to streamline and prioritize. You will have to! Before you get too buried, reach out and see if you can get a helping hand. Better yet, get two! Before you know it you can clear off your desk and take a long lunch. But not this week.

VIRGO (AUGUST 24 - SEPTEMBER 23)
You have great sex appeal now, Virgo. Make the most of it by doing what you want when you want to do it. Not only are you hobnobbing with all types of fun and exotic folks, you are able to command the scene and host a few glittering events on your own. You might even create a personal masterpiece based on an old but good idea. Does it involve anyone we know?

LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 24 - OCTOBER 23)
Concentrate on your home life and the relationships you want to cultivate, Libra. Your focus on these areas will lead to a much more balanced life and more comfortable surroundings. For thos with a few family issues to tackle, proceed gently and see if you can make progress. You never know how attitudes can change over a cup of coffee. Or is it wine...?

SCORPIO (OCTOBER 24 - NOVEMBER 22)
Whatever you want to say to colleagues this week, be sure that it is carefully worded and made to sound like a compliment ... even if it isn’t. Scorpios are very suave and compelling when they want to be. Use your acumen to get where you want to go with people that you need to enlist. Before you know it you will be the office mover and shaker. Goody.

SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 23 - DECEMBER 22)
Fun seems to follow you this week, Sagittarius. So slow down from your rat race and live a little. Find the best parties and boogie down. Dip into your creative bag of tricks and see what you can conjure. You may even find that some of your artistic ventures will pay off monetarily. Who knew that we had another Andy Warhol around?

CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 23 - JANUARY 20)
Does your home reflect who you really are, Capricorn? Maybe and maybe not. If not, use this week to revamp your home environment and make it more in tune to your needs, wants and desires. It may require physical change like a move or renovation. Or may be just a tweak of an attitude. You will discover what it takes. Then take it to the limit.

AQUARIUS (JANUARY 21 - FEBRUARY 19)
Talking about things to trusted friends and advisors may be on your agenda this week, Aquarius. But before you reach out, know what you want to say and who to say it to. There are those around you that are especially good at giving sage advice. But there are others that are too impractical for you now. Dream the dream but stand on solid ground.

PISCES (FEBRUARY 20 - MARCH 20)
Friends will find many good ways of spending your money this week. At least they think so. But what do you think, Pisces? Try to use your hard earned dough to make your personal life happier and more secure. It is fine to share some money with pals but don’t let them take advantage of your generosity. Sometimes your presence is enough ... without all the presents.

(c) 2019 MADAM LICHTENSTEIN, LLC., All Rights Reserved. For Entertainment Purposes Only.
Lichtenstein’s highly acclaimed astrology book “HerScopes” has the Stonewall horoscope.


Lucky Numbers for the Week of March 29, 2019

Lottery ads tell us you only need a dollar and a dream. But it is also helpful to have a list of lucky numbers to help spur the good fortune ... or fortunes. So with that in mind, here are some lucky numbers that can be used in any helpful way. I gazed into a pool of water, Nostradamus-like, and contemplated the cosmos. Then I mixed the tarot cards and allowed the spirits to guide me to the cards that represent the lucky numbers for this week. Nothing is guaranteed but who knows ....?

I choose eight numbers because 8 is the number of wealth.

Here are the lucky numbers for the week of March 29-April 4, 2019:

1, 19, 20, 25, 37, 57, 63, 72

There are many ways to delve into your own consciousness to find luck and intuition. Try reading Dream Power/Improve Your Luck (Super Strength Series) and see if your dreams give you any clues and premonitions. Here's a guide to the best books available this month


Kepler News of Upcoming Events

Zodiac signsHi Everyone!

This is another quick note to let you know about two upcoming events:

1. The Vibrational Astrology Conference April 5 – 7, 2019. Excitement is building! There will be about 100 attendees from 6 countries, and we are doing final preparations now for the conference opening, etc. For more information please visit www.astrosoftware.com/conference/va2019.html

The conference hotel is full but there are many hotels are less than 1 mile from the conference hotel: Residence Inn by Marriot Gainesville I-75, Comfort Inn University, Spring Hill Suites by Marriot Gainesville, Red Roof Plus Gainesville, Courtyard by Marriot Gainesville, Doubletree by Hilton Gainesville, Sleep Inn & Suites, Homewood Suites by Hilton Gainesville, and Hilton Garden Inn Gainesville, Sleep Inn & Suites University/Shands, Super 8 by Wyndham Gainesville, Spring Hill Suites by Marriot Gainesvile, Hampton Inn Gainesville, and Country Inn & Suites by Radisson Gainesville.

2. We are collaborating again with Astrology Hub in another exciting program called Discover Your Soul Purpose. Astrology Hub is rolling out another extremely generous program: you can watch 5 professional astrologers show how the soul purpose of a client is found in a live demonstration, and it is free! You are receiving this email just in time for the presentations on March 26 or 27 so please reserve your spot now if you wish to attend.

Here is the link to reserve your spot at this online presentation:
https://astrologyhub.securechkout.com/soulpurposewebinar?orid=172731&opid=100


Making Astrologers "More Professional"

Astral projectionThe New York Times ran an interesting article about how astrologers are establishing more professional credentials for their work. The paper takes it "tongue in cheek" with a snarky undertone. But I believe that astrology is a profession and requires, if not specific certification exams, years of practice and research.

In the old days before computers, you needed to know math to calculate ones horoscope by hand. Now that process is (happily) calculated in seconds. But the ability to analyze what the chart says is something that requires a bit of math, a bit of professional experience and a bit of artistry. Just like locating the perfect therapist, finding the perfect astrologer for you takes time and patience.

Here is the article from the NY Times with all of the snark intact:

On the morning of the International Society for Astrological Research’s Certification of Astrological Proficiency (ISAR CAP) exam, which was held at a Marriott in Chicago on a balmy morning in May, the cosmic weather boded well. The moon was in Sagittarius, the most erudite of the signs, and the communication planet Mercury had just entered quick-witted Gemini. There had been a dramatic full moon the night before, but the handful of astrologers who’d signed up to take the test didn’t seem too shaken by it. They were, after all, professionals — or at least, hoping to be, having undergone years of intense preparations for this six-hour “metaphysical SAT,” as one called it. Though technically open book, the ISAR CAP has a reputation for being one of the most grueling exams in the astrological field.

Yes. In 2018 there are multiple rigorous exams that assess one’s ability to read the stars.

And yes, it may seem strange to apply extremely technical standards to this abstract spiritual practice, but doing so isn’t without precedent. Astrology has existed, in some form, since at least ancient Babylonian times and was long considered a completely logical means of making sense of the world. It wasn’t until rationalism became all the rage in the 19th century that astrology was relegated to the realm of the mystical and absurd.

Today, it’s mostly considered the province of women’s magazines and Instagram memes, at best a harmless fiction and at worst a pernicious pseudoscience. But for a rising number of students and specialists, the practice is extremely serious, if admittedly unscientific.Getting certified, Ms. Stapleton said, “would give me the professional confidence moving forward that I’d been evaluated by the elders in my community, by my peers, and that there are these standards.”

The uptick in astrology’s popularity has been attributed to a rise in unconventional spirituality, a playful brand of post-recession nihilism (in which it doesn’t even matter if “astrology is fake,” as the meme goes) and, of course, the internet. (Alternatively, it could be that everyone born from November 1983 to November 1995 has Pluto in Scorpio, which draws them to occult practices and magical thinking.)

There are also more ways than ever to become well-versed in astrology. Star charts can be quickly generated online and delivered by apps, emails and the like, and astrologers can speak to thousands of students using social media. It beats the old-fashioned way: Pre-internet, generating a star chart required a number of byzantine conversions and calculations and at least two separate esoteric reference books.

In other words, to do it by hand, it takes an expert.

For example, in order to calculate a person’s natal chart, which is used to assess personality, psychological patterns and life path, one must first identify the precise placements of planets within the sky at the time of someone’s birth, relative to the exact location at which their birth occurred. That information is then cross-referenced with the 12 astrological houses — fixed, conceptual divisions of the celestial sphere, each of which rules a specific area of life (e.g. the subconscious mind, marriage and partnerships) — and the 12 zodiac signs, which are in constant motion through the houses and correspond to the sky as it appears from the earth, our terrestrial home.

A full astrological natal chart reading accounts for all these variables, as well as the exact angles each celestial body makes to others in the sky, and yields personalized results. This part is as objectively “real” as any other time-related conception of Earth: It involves applying unchanging mathematical formulas to finite historical data. It’s the next part — the interpretation of those results — that plunges astrologers into the realm of what they might call inference or intuition, and what nonbelievers might call memorized random associations.

Interpretation is one of many skills that the ISAR CAP tests. It includes an essay portion and about 600 multiple-choice, true-false and short-answer questions, which cover chart calculations, the history of astrology, basic astronomy as applied to astrology and forecasting skills. Sample questions include: What is the Sun’s greatest distance from the celestial equator? What is the harmonic of a quintile aspect, and how many degrees is it? And how often are Mercury and Venus trine? (Trick question! A trine is a 120-degree angle between two planets, which never occurs between Mercury and Venus!)

“Since astrology tends to be something people perceive as mystical and magical, maybe a bit made-up, I just really thought that having a certification would show due diligence,” said Debbie Stapleton, a hairstylist with bangs and ornate beaded earrings. An industrious Capricorn, she had traveled from Canada to take the test. Getting certified, Ms. Stapleton said, “would give me the professional confidence moving forward that I’d been evaluated by the elders in my community, by my peers, and that there are these standards.”

This year’s exam was held during the United Astrology Conference (UAC), a major astrological networking event that has been hosted once every four or six years since 1986. (It remains unclear who, exactly, decides when it will be quadrennial or sextannual, or how they do so.) The conference in May was the best attended in history, attracting around 1,500 astrologers, who spent the week attending panels with names like “How to Work With the Moon,” “Eclipses: Portals of Destiny” and “The Astrology of a New Vision of Capitalism.”

The astrologers were there to share research and meet luminaries in the field. Possibly also to purchase crystals and psychedelic caftans at the pop-up marketplace, yes, but many said they were deeply invested in establishing astrology as a legitimate profession. Astrological certification is a crucial part of this last goal; throughout the weekend, a handful of people compared it to passing the bar or getting accredited as a therapist.

“It’s good that we have this standard of learning — very, very good,” said Shelley Ackerman, the official spokesperson for UAC and a diplomatic Libra. “Not that it guarantees absolute perfection in the field, but it certainly does eliminate and address a lot of mishaps that could have happened if you don’t have the training.”

“We can say things that can inspire people,” Ms. Stapleton said, “but if we’re not careful, we can say things that frighten and damage and alienate people.” (ISAR expressly forbids members from making predictions that are scary or extreme, such as prophesies about deaths or other calamities, even when they can clearly see them on someone’s chart.)

ISAR’s isn’t the only astrological certification exam in existence — there are other metaphysical organizations with certification programs of their own, most notably the National Center for Geocosmic Research (NCGR). But the ISAR CAP stands out in the astrological community for its strong emphasis on how to properly counsel clients. In addition to the bafflingly rigorous exam (446 questions longer than the nonmetaphysical SAT), students must also complete a two-and-a-half-day counseling skills training and an ethics course, which culminates in a second test. (It is, thankfully, much shorter.)

“The bottom line is astrology is not for the impatient or faint of heart,” Ms. Ackerman said. “You have got to love puzzles, math, myth, and the complexity of life. You can’t be in a rush and be a good astrologer.” “It is not for morons,” she said.


Horoscope for the Week of March 25, 2019

Emma watsonGet your rockets in motion as the Sun enters rowdy Aries this week. Whatever itch you need to scratch, do it now when your energy is high and your power is unleashed. Zoom to the sky, but also prepare for the inevitable landing.

(Emma Watson has Sun in Aries)

Never miss your horoscope again -- free sign up here. Here is my favorite book on astrology and a "must" for anyone interested in learning more: Secrets from a Stargazer's Notebook: Making Astrology Work for You and here's a guide to the best books available this month. This column is (c) 2019 MADAM LICHTENSTEIN, LLC., All Rights Reserved. For Entertainment Purposes Only. Madam Lichtenstein is the author of the best selling astrology book “HerScopes ” now in its 10th printing and available as an eBook

ARIES (MARCH 21 - APRIL 20)
Aries are a force unto themselves and that means that whatever has been holding you back is no longer an obstacle. Don’t postpone any plans that have been simmering on low heat. Turn it up and get it to boil. Before you know it, you will have the crowds where you want them - in your thrall and ready to do your bidding. Be a benevolent despot.

TAURUS (APRIL 21 - MAY 21)
A bright light is suddenly turned on in any dark mysterious corner of your life. So get ready to be enlightened, Taurus. And once you have learned the secrets of the universe, find ways to leverage their power to do good and charitable acts. Pile up on the good karma points now so you can spend them later when you are ready to totally misbehave!

GEMINI (MAY 22 - JUNE 21)
Friends get into your business and it may piss you off. But actually it will be a very good thing for you, Gemini. You may need a little helpful supervision now as some of your current interests are total time wasters. Pals really care and only want the very best for you. So what if they (helpfully) criticize who you date or what you eat or what you wear or where you go? Hmm...

CANCER (JUNE 22 - JULY 23)
Cancers who seek a better job, a new life path or even just more recognition will find it now. Hopefully you have prepared for this next big step in your professional life. For those with more modest goals, this is a great time to reassess where you want to go in life and what you need to do to get there. Today the row boat. Tomorrow the yacht!

LEO (JULY 24 - AUGUST 23)
It may be time for an adventure, Leo. Your life has been a bit hum drum and breaking out of your routine will refresh your outlook and give you new creative ideas. Where will your itchy traveling feet take you? Depending on the time and money, even something closer to home will work wonders. Maybe something involving body paint and a red convertible?

VIRGO (AUGUST 24 - SEPTEMBER 23)
Sexy Virgos have their choice of hot times now. But the secret to your lusty success will be in your ability to be discerning and controlled with your affections. There will be too many temptations and not enough time or energy to try them all. For those in a committed relationship, commit to much more shared time together. See the temperature rise.

LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 24 - OCTOBER 23)
Relationships are the focus of your attention now, Libra. Good thing too. Partners may be feeling left out or not heard. Spend a good amount of time connecting with those close to you and reconnecting with those with whom you might have lost touch. Before you know it, you will feel much more secure and happier with life in general. And so will they.

SCORPIO (OCTOBER 24 - NOVEMBER 22)
Clear away the cobwebs, Scorpio. Roll up your sleeves and try to get a few long-standing projects done once and for all. That can mean work related stuff or it could be a range of little chores around the house. We are into spring cleaning mode as the spring season makes an appearance. Get it done. Then you can kick up and relax all summer!

SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 23 - DECEMBER 22)
Anything that is fun is on top of your to-do list, Sagittarius.Whatever gets your creative juices going, squeeze it into your schedule now. Express yourself with art, dance, theater or music. Or plan a party-fest that will get the crowds talking for weeks. You are the one to know and the one to be seen. Create a scene and get known and seen. Whoo hoo!

CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 23 - JANUARY 20)
Capricorns on a family mission will get it done. If there are relatives who need a bit of a helping hand, you are the one to step up. If there is a falling out, you are the one to bring folks together. It’s a big responsibility but you are up to it. Relax and enjoy your domesticity later in the week. For now, become the peacemaker and family wheeler dealer.

AQUARIUS (JANUARY 21 - FEBRUARY 19)
Aquarians may have a few pithy thoughts on their minds. If so this is a good time to express your opinion. Not only are you more charismatic and compelling, others are also more willing to listen to you. So tell it like it is and see what the reaction is. Who knows? This may catapult you to higher office or celebrity? Pack a winning smile and a resume.

PISCES (FEBRUARY 20 - MARCH 20)
If money has been tight, you may see a bit more financial relief now. Pisces discover new ways to earn a buck, leverage a talent or receive a monetary reward for past work. Whatever comes your way, don’t squander it on trivialities and junk. The temptation is great to just splurge. But try to save or invest it for a rainy day. Oh, do I feel a drop? Nope.

(c) 2019 MADAM LICHTENSTEIN, LLC., All Rights Reserved. For Entertainment Purposes Only.
Lichtenstein’s highly acclaimed astrology book “HerScopes” has the Stonewall horoscope.