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November 2009

AMAs- My Favorite Award Show That's Not About Awards

It's about the performances.

Truthfully, I have no idea who won except that Taylor Swift beat Michael Jackson.  I am done with her now.  She gets filed under Miley. 

But I have some questions:

  • What was Janet wearing?  Bad enough she lip synched (because I am convinced after the VMAs she thinks she's too cool to sing) But why did she dress like Bubble's trainer?

Monkey    Janet

  • Who is Gloriana?  Can I meet the 23 people who chose them as breakout artist of the year?
  • Do you think Alicia Keys and Jay Z are knocking boots?  Their onstage chemistry is amazing.

Akeys-and-jayz-newyork

  • Adam Glambert kissed a boy.  Did he like it?
  • Keith Urban's performance of "Kiss a Girl" - a recommendation to Glamberace?

Adam_Lambert__1528735c

  • Was it really just a week ago that Carrie Underwood performed the same song on the CMAs?  Time flies when you're drinking Veuve.
  • Where's Lady Gaga's fake blood?
  • Don't you think Mary J should have sung No More Drama to Whitney?
 

And no that wasn't 6.0 on the Richter scale.  That was JLo's fat butt hitting the stage because her Louboutins couldn't hold it up (both the song and the shoes).  Gimme a pair.  I'll show you how it's done. I had high hopes for her as she used the boxer back up dancers as steps.  Then boom.  LOL.  She needs to stay home.  She cannot compete with Lady Gaga and Fergie.  (Video: J.Lo Go Boom Boom Pow)

Even Marc Anthony looked more sick than his usual gaunt self.

All I know is that I'm happy that the AMAs officially kicked off the music season.  Bring on the Grammy Nominations (and don't tell Kanye)







CMAs: A little bit country, a little bit rock and roll

Billy ray
Remember when Billy Ray Cyrus,not his daughter Miley, Hannah, whatever, was the face of country music?

Yeah, me too.  Women went nuts over Billy Ray in the 90s.  And everyone danced the most ridiculous dance ever created since the Electric Slide (Video: Achy Breaky Heart)

Now the worlds have collided.  Miley is a worth a billion, Keith Urban and Brad Paisley do amazing Zeppelin riffs at their concerts, and Dolly Parton was on American Idol last year.   Let me say that again.  Dolly Parton was on American Idol last year.  I have proof.  Look here:  (Video: Dolly Parton: American Idol 2008) Dolly was so bad I was hoping her enormous plastical-augmentations were filled with helium and she floated away.


But seriously folks. Taylor Swift has sold more albums than anyone in 2009 and was phenomenal this passed weekend on Saturday Night Live. Kenny Chesney had the year’s biggest concert tour. And Carrie Underwood will make more TV appearances in the next month than Santa Claus. So far no one does the CMA Red Carpet better than Underwood.  But we'll see tonight.  Hopefully, her dress won't cover the band.
Large_carrie-underwood-dress2 

Oh and, fingers crossed, no Kanye on board. Giddyup.