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March 2010

Kate Plus 10: Dancing with Studpity

Some of my loyal followers may know my feelings towards that woman who became famous for giving birth and mocking her husband on national TV. 

For those of you who don't, what kind of douchebaggery is this that makes Kate Gosselin get more press for being on DWTS than an 80 YEAR OLD MAN WHO LANDED ON THE MOON???? Hasn't the world seen enough of Kate?   

DWTS, while it amazes me that these people actually work their butts off to learn these insane dance moves,  is still the place where has-beens go as a pre-requisite to another reality show (Yes, Jake the Bachelor- there may be hope for you) 

Even that 'Weird Science' project, Pamela Anderson, who's most compelling work was a sex tape, acknowledges that this is her last ditch effort to resurrect her career.  Would someone please tell Shannon Doherty?  She's like dust.  She always comes back.

Tea for Two.  Tap, Tap, Tap.

Oscar, the Anti-Christ and ABC

It's the countdown to the Oscars and I'm getting my tiara ready. 

I'm thankful that I thought better than to try and see all 10 nominated movies in the theatres for the following reasons:

  • I would have spent at least $107.50 on movies tickets
  • I would have spent double that on popcorn, soda and Skittles
  • I would have gained at least 4 pounds
  • I would still secretly hold the hope that George Clooney would win for Best Actor and there would still be a chance for Hangover to get nominated for Best Picture
  • I wish there was a category for "Why Did I Waste My Money on this Movie" category.  Valentine's Day would win hands down.  (The fact that I went to go see it alone on the weekend of Valentine's Day did not help it's chances of surviving according to this critic)

But that ain't happening.

Steve and alec
I am thrilled that Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin are hosting.  They were hysterical in a very under the radar, funny movie I saw by myself in Menlo Park Mall called It's Complicated. (Do I see a pattern here?  Me.  Movies. Alone?)  BUT WILL I BE ABLE TO WATCH IT?????????

Cablevision is the anti-Christ and ABC sucks (mainly because it airs The Bachelor).  Besides the fact that I can't get the song "Deja Vu" out of my head (remember Food Network and HGTV?) I now know what it feels like those few seconds when the presenters say "And the Oscar goes to....." 

Meryl streep
Please, please, please Corporate Giants who make more money than God and McDonald's, please play nice in the sandbox, or cable-box,  and don't let my Oscar viewing party be an E! empty red carpet viewing party!