Oscar, the Anti-Christ and ABC

It's the countdown to the Oscars and I'm getting my tiara ready. 

I'm thankful that I thought better than to try and see all 10 nominated movies in the theatres for the following reasons:

• I would have spent at least $107.50 on movies tickets
• I would have spent double that on popcorn, soda and Skittles
• I would have gained at least 4 pounds
• I would still secretly hold the hope that George Clooney would win for Best Actor and there would still be a chance for Hangover to get nominated for Best Picture
• I wish there was a category for "Why Did I Waste My Money on this Movie" category.  Valentine's Day would win hands down.  (The fact that I went to go see it alone on the weekend of Valentine's Day did not help it's chances of surviving according to this critic)

But that ain't happening.

I am thrilled that Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin are hosting.  They were hysterical in a very under the radar, funny movie I saw by myself in Menlo Park Mall called It's Complicated. (Do I see a pattern here?  Me.  Movies. Alone?)  BUT WILL I BE ABLE TO WATCH IT?????????

Cablevision is the anti-Christ and ABC sucks (mainly because it airs The Bachelor).  Besides the fact that I can't get the song "Deja Vu" out of my head (remember Food Network and HGTV?) I now know what it feels like those few seconds when the presenters say "And the Oscar goes to....." 

Please, please, please Corporate Giants who make more money than God and McDonald's, please play nice in the sandbox, or cable-box,  and don't let my Oscar viewing party be an E! empty red carpet viewing party!

Countdown to the Grammys 2010

Can I be more excited?  Lady Gaga is the opening act and the Pants on the Ground guy is going to be there!!!!  This is the first time in a long time that everyone I LOVE LOVE LOVE is nominated and I totally think that they got all the nominees right!

The only thing missing from the nominee list is Robin Thicke.  The new Sex Therapy album is pure sex on my iPod.  I love that album.  Every song rocks and the Jay Z collaboration just puts me over the edge.  It's one of those albums that when I listen to it on the bus I feel naughty, like people are staring at me.  It's that good. 

And can someone please tell me if we are in a time warp or was Hall and Oats really nominated?

 

I guess all is right with the world.  Mike "The Situation" is there.  Where's Snooki?

Ok - Gotta run- my Valentino dress is getting wrinkled with this laptop on it.  Gotta do the red carpet. 

Go Gaga.  GO!!!!!
 
 

Live From the Red Carpet Golden Globes 2010

Why is Billy Bush doing the red carpet?  UGH.  He annoys me as much as Joe Buck.  UGH.

 

BB lost "Are You Smarter Than Fifth Grader".  So he's not, and I knew that.

The rain in LA is killing it for the celebs.  The polka dot rain stained Valentino dresses are breaking my heart. 

Chloe Sevigny has a serious attitude problem, just so you know.  

Someone seemed to have ironed Mickey Rourke's face. 

Mariah's boobs are bigger than............

Purple seems to be the color. 

Note to Sandra Bullock- bad hair.  Very bad hair. 

Some quick predicitions, in no particular order-

Avatar, Jeremy Piven, Sandra Bullock, Jeff Bridges, Nine, Meryl Streep, Stanley Tucci, Up, Mad Men, 30 Rock, Michael C. Hall, Anna Paquin, Matthew Morrision, Edie Falco, Robert Downey Jr, Baaria, Quentin, Cinema Italiano.

Can't wait to see waht Rick Gervais will do.  Do you realize he is the first host for the Golden Globes in 15 years?  HFPA was always too cool for hosts.  But after NPH nailed the Emmys, even the foreigners said why not.

AMAs- My Favorite Award Show That's Not About Awards

It's about the performances.

Truthfully, I have no idea who won except that Taylor Swift beat Michael Jackson.  I am done with her now.  She gets filed under Miley. 

But I have some questions:

• What was Janet wearing?  Bad enough she lip synched (because I am convinced after the VMAs she thinks she's too cool to sing) But why did she dress like Bubble's trainer?

  

• Who is Gloriana?  Can I meet the 23 people who chose them as breakout artist of the year?
• Do you think Alicia Keys and Jay Z are knocking boots?  Their onstage chemistry is amazing.

• Adam Glambert kissed a boy.  Did he like it?
• Keith Urban's performance of "Kiss a Girl" - a recommendation to Glamberace?

• Was it really just a week ago that Carrie Underwood performed the same song on the CMAs?  Time flies when you're drinking Veuve.
• Where's Lady Gaga's fake blood?
• Don't you think Mary J should have sung No More Drama to Whitney?

 

And no that wasn't 6.0 on the Richter scale.  That was JLo's fat butt hitting the stage because her Louboutins couldn't hold it up (both the song and the shoes).  Gimme a pair.  I'll show you how it's done. I had high hopes for her as she used the boxer back up dancers as steps.  Then boom.  LOL.  She needs to stay home.  She cannot compete with Lady Gaga and Fergie.  (Video: J.Lo Go Boom Boom Pow)

Even Marc Anthony looked more sick than his usual gaunt self.

All I know is that I'm happy that the AMAs officially kicked off the music season.  Bring on the Grammy Nominations (and don't tell Kanye)

CMAs: A little bit country, a little bit rock and roll

Remember when Billy Ray Cyrus,not his daughter Miley, Hannah, whatever, was the face of country music?

Yeah, me too.  Women went nuts over Billy Ray in the 90s.  And everyone danced the most ridiculous dance ever created since the Electric Slide (Video: Achy Breaky Heart)

Now the worlds have collided.  Miley is a worth a billion, Keith Urban and Brad Paisley do amazing Zeppelin riffs at their concerts, and Dolly Parton was on American Idol last year.   Let me say that again.  Dolly Parton was on American Idol last year.  I have proof.  Look here:  (Video: Dolly Parton: American Idol 2008) Dolly was so bad I was hoping her enormous plastical-augmentations were filled with helium and she floated away.

But seriously folks. Taylor Swift has sold more albums than anyone in 2009 and was phenomenal this passed weekend on Saturday Night Live. Kenny Chesney had the year’s biggest concert tour. And Carrie Underwood will make more TV appearances in the next month than Santa Claus. So far no one does the CMA Red Carpet better than Underwood.  But we'll see tonight.  Hopefully, her dress won't cover the band.
 

Oh and, fingers crossed, no Kanye on board. Giddyup.

2009 Emmys- How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways..............

1. Seal cannot keep his hands off Heidi Klum.  She's preggers again!?!?!
2. Neil Patrick Harris was the best host ever!  Who else could have rhymed boob tube with Tony Shaloub?
3. It only took four minutes for the Kanye West jokes to start.
4. Kristin Chenowith sucked helium before her acceptance speech. Kristin Chenowith Acceptance Speech And I love that she shamelessly asked for a job. 
5. Jimmy Fallon.  LOL.  Jimmy Fallon Ready to Party
6. YAY Duckie! I will never forget your Otis performance in Pretty in Pink.  Duckie's Otis Impression

   

   Not sure he should have worn a bumble bee vest.   Hope Kevin Dillon didn't beat you in the parking lot. Jon Cryer Acceptance Speech

   

7. Sarah Silverman's mustache.  
8. Leighton Meister's terry cloth gown.
9. All the great lines: Tina Fey thanking NBC for keeping "30 Rock" on the air despite being "so much more expensive than a talk show." . . . Presenter Julia Louis-Dreyfus: "I'm honored to be presenting on the last official year of network broadcast television." . . . Ken Howard (Supporting actor in a Movie/Miniseries) said, he'll "try to keep his speech brief so he won't be interrupted by a congressman or rapper."
10. NPH's silly credits (for Rob Lowe: You know him as Charles Elderberry from the ABC After School Special) and Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog Dr Horrible on the Emmys

One question- why was everyone breathing so heavy?  Did all the winners have to run down to accept from the very last row, or were the Emmys secretly held in Vail, CO so Kanye couldn't find it?

Shohreh Aghdashloo

Glenn Close

Countdown to the Mad Men Fest………

I am getting ready for my favorite night of the year!  The 2009 PrimeTime Emmys airs tonight at 8pm on CBS.  I am having some of my closest friends and fellow self proclaimed TV critics over for some Veuve Cliquot and pigs in the blanket (with Grey Poupon of course)

So here’s my wish list for tonight’s 2009 Primetime Emmys :

• Mad Men cleans up the drama categories in an almost Sopranos kind of way- If Rescue Me made it to the best drama category I would have a hard time even writing this.
• As far as best actor in a Drama series, Don Draper is no actor- (No offense Jon Hamm- if I still bought magazines with posters in them you’d be on my wall) I could see the voters give it to another AMC original series actor (Bryan Cranston- Breaking Bad) but my pick would be Michael C. Hall all the way.
• Elizabeth Moss’ character on Mad Men is freakish and that will always win in my book as you can see from my best actor pick. Isn’t it weird that the most of the nominees in the Best Actress in a Drama series consists of ex movie stars? Cable- where your movie career goes to die.
• I Iove you Liz Lemon, but you are becoming the Ellen of the Primetime Emmys. Hope Family Guy gets some recognition for series and Mary Louise for Weeds. (Secretly I’d like to see Sarah Silverman make the great schlep from the 15th row up to accept one of these) (The Great Schlep )
• I love Alec Baldwin- so he wins, even if he doesn’t
• I have no feeling either way on any supporting categories- but I do want Kristen Wig and her drunken Kathie Lee, (recent Madonna) and Ed Sullivan tiny hands to win ! (Kristin Wig )
• Guest actor in a comedy is one of my favorite categories and should seriously be anyone from 30 Rock, but Justin Timberlake is in this category, and I love him, so he wins. He seriously gives Alec Baldwin some competition as best recurring SNL host.
• Now Tina Fey should NOT win an Emmy for going back to her old job. Elaine Stritch all the way!
• Saw Carol Burnett on L&O last night, and it just didn’t do it for me. None of the L&O guests do.
• Writing for Comedy- Daily Show
• Writing for Drama- Mad Men
• Writing for Comedy Series- How can you put all of these guys from 30 Rock up against each other?
• Everyone should win in the Variety, Music or Comedy Special
• Family Guy all the way for Best Comedy Series.  And that's all I'm gonna say about that.

Family Guy- Brian's Emmy Vote

Here’s how I’d like to see next year’s Emmys go:

• There should be no REALITY COMPETITION PROGRAM- even though I sit around waiting for someone to create an Idol Fantasy League.
• The mini-series category gets bigger and bigger. I miss the time when there was no DVR and nothing else mattered but 5 nights of Roots, The Thorn Birds, Band of Brothers, Angels in America!?!?!

  

• Give Rescue Me a shot at something! Please. Before it goes away in 2010.

Stay tuned for my recap at some obscene time in the wee hours of Monday morning.

 

 

Yes, It WAS Rude, Kanye

Ok

So maybe Jay Leno is the place where celebrities go to apologize.  Remember when Hugh Grant told Leno how sorry he was when he was caught in a compromising position with a prostitute?

Kanye didn't say much more to Leno than he did on his blog, twice.  It was rude, yes, you should apologize in person and no one will miss you if you take some time off to reflect about why you do what you do on the VMAs, Grammys and American Music Awards.

Jay's daily primetime show, which may not need ratings help considering all the interest in the premiere, may have just set itself up as the place for apologetic celebrities- way before Conan can get them.  Maybe Joe Wilson and Chris Brown are next on Jay's couch.

Either way- good job Jay.  Looking forward to more.

Kanye: Set-up? Well was it MTV or Leno?

So I'm halfway through The Jay Leno Show on NBC and then it hit me!

Buzz this morning after the MTV Video Music Awards was that the Kanye/Swift incident was set-up by MTV.  I'm thinking it's a coup de main a la Jay.

Think about it.

It's genius.

I'll let you know after the interview.

Coming on now!

Goo Goo for Gaga

I miss my youth.

 

 

 

You know the days when you could stay up late watching the MTV Video Music Awards and not be in a coma the next day?

 

So in this haze that I am in today, on a Monday that kicks off more than a few Fall season premieres, I seem to remember that I was waiting for someone to break the news that Shakira and Pink showed up in the same dress on the red carpet outside of Radio City Music Hall.  Since I think I made the first official post on Facebook of the aforementioned fashion fiasco I decided I needed my own forum for rants, raves and reviews............thus this blog. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So indulge me, if you will, with 2009 MTV Video Music Awards - How I see it:

 

• The purpose of Russell Brand as host is ?...........(crickets)
• Hey Madge, it's not about you!
• So Janet rehearsed for hours? Really? Why? Is it that hard to lip synch? Thanks for keeping the boob out of it.
• Kanye is not worth the time it took to type his name.
• Oh Beyonce, I have nothing but love for you. You are a class act. Loved what you did for Taylor. Kind of over "All the Single Ladies", though. Cue Creative Emmy winner Justin Timberlake please! Justin Timberlake & Beyonce- SNL
• Question for Russell Simmons- How do you feel now that you dropped the Lady from Def Jam?
• And don't think I (or anyone else for that matter) didn't notice P. Diddy saying to himself "Why didn't they ask me to host again?" and "What would Lady Gaga do for me if I gave her 20 shots of Ciroc?"
• Speaking of Lady Gaga, she is the eptiome of all that would make an Italian Catholic mother consider exorcism, but is one seriously creative and talented paesan. 

 

 

• Good move by Hova collaborating with Alicia Keyes on "Empire State of Mind".
• Bad move by Hova thinking the grand entrance and tardiness would overshaddow the talent that is Alicia Keys.
• "So You Think You Can Interrupt" Lil Mamma?
• Kanye- You can stuff your sorrys in a sack Mister! (I don't know what that means)

Cannot wait for the Emmy's, just so you know................