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Un-Real-ity TV

A Double Kate!!!!!

Katie
Last week Katie Stevens was voted off American Idol and I was glad. I always preferred Sanjaya's hair-dos over her hideous outfits any day of the week.



Kate gosselin
Now I do a cartwheel as Dancing with the Stars said goodbye Kate Gosselin- I'm not sure what's worse- her dancing or her attitude.  UGH.  I'm glad to be rid of her again.  But I have a feeling I'll be saying that a lot.  She's like dust- she always comes back.

(Watch Kate's Bad Attitude Dancing Here)

On another note, Glee fans trashed Idol on Twitter last night because they went over time, so the DVR people were pissed.  But it was worth it because Bowersox rocks!!!!.  Thank God the Vogue parody hit the internet the week before.  Here's the "Like a Prayer" video (Last song on Glee last night) So don't be an AI hater.  Katie's gone and that fills me with Glee.  The only thing that could be better is if America votes Siobhan off tonight.



Who's Better Than Coco?

ConanTBS-Large 

Just when I thought this late night talk show saga couldn't get any juicier, Conan O'Brien blows my mind and makes the move to cable.  And it is a very, VERY good move.

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Since he left broadcast, he tweeted, did some live shows and now he's on basic cable.  It should have been the other way around, but I think he's got something here.  I was among the hopefuls who thought Leno's move to Primetime would be a success (I admit when I'm wrong).  But this is so beyond my comprehension it just may work! 
It's a much better move than going to Fox, and he'll get to own the show.  Plus he's got a half hour lead on Dave and Jay.

Oh God, poor USA, they just might lose the #1 spot in cable on adults 18-49.

The yet-to-be-titled show will air Monday-Thursday in the 11p slot, preceding George Lopez.  I'm sure George is psyched about his lead-in. And I've personally thought cable could use a lot more male redheads.  David Caruso just isn't enough.

Daivd

 

 




Kate Plus 10: Dancing with Studpity

Some of my loyal followers may know my feelings towards that woman who became famous for giving birth and mocking her husband on national TV. 

For those of you who don't, what kind of douchebaggery is this that makes Kate Gosselin get more press for being on DWTS than an 80 YEAR OLD MAN WHO LANDED ON THE MOON???? Hasn't the world seen enough of Kate?   

DWTS
DWTS, while it amazes me that these people actually work their butts off to learn these insane dance moves,  is still the place where has-beens go as a pre-requisite to another reality show (Yes, Jake the Bachelor- there may be hope for you) 

Even that 'Weird Science' project, Pamela Anderson, who's most compelling work was a sex tape, acknowledges that this is her last ditch effort to resurrect her career.  Would someone please tell Shannon Doherty?  She's like dust.  She always comes back.

Tea for Two.  Tap, Tap, Tap.


AMAs- My Favorite Award Show That's Not About Awards

It's about the performances.

Truthfully, I have no idea who won except that Taylor Swift beat Michael Jackson.  I am done with her now.  She gets filed under Miley. 

But I have some questions:

  • What was Janet wearing?  Bad enough she lip synched (because I am convinced after the VMAs she thinks she's too cool to sing) But why did she dress like Bubble's trainer?

Monkey    Janet

  • Who is Gloriana?  Can I meet the 23 people who chose them as breakout artist of the year?
  • Do you think Alicia Keys and Jay Z are knocking boots?  Their onstage chemistry is amazing.

Akeys-and-jayz-newyork

  • Adam Glambert kissed a boy.  Did he like it?
  • Keith Urban's performance of "Kiss a Girl" - a recommendation to Glamberace?

Adam_Lambert__1528735c

  • Was it really just a week ago that Carrie Underwood performed the same song on the CMAs?  Time flies when you're drinking Veuve.
  • Where's Lady Gaga's fake blood?
  • Don't you think Mary J should have sung No More Drama to Whitney?
 

And no that wasn't 6.0 on the Richter scale.  That was JLo's fat butt hitting the stage because her Louboutins couldn't hold it up (both the song and the shoes).  Gimme a pair.  I'll show you how it's done. I had high hopes for her as she used the boxer back up dancers as steps.  Then boom.  LOL.  She needs to stay home.  She cannot compete with Lady Gaga and Fergie.  (Video: J.Lo Go Boom Boom Pow)

Even Marc Anthony looked more sick than his usual gaunt self.

All I know is that I'm happy that the AMAs officially kicked off the music season.  Bring on the Grammy Nominations (and don't tell Kanye)







McNamara/Troy- Bad Economy, Divorce, Rejuvination and............Matt's a Mime Now?!?!?

I love Rose McGowan but am a little freaked by her new nose.  It's appropos to play Sean's girlfriend on Nip/Tuck, but she was unrecognizable to me and I'm bummed because I would have cast her to play me in the movie of my life.

Rose
Rose McGowa
n recently said that she HAD to have plastic surgery after a piece of glass cut the bottom of her eye open in a car accident. She said that's the only reason why she had plastic surgery. Was the face lift a requirement?  What about the cheek implants?  The nose job?  The boob job?   

Rose should be wondering why Jennifer Grey hasn't made a movie since.........  ?????

Jennifer nose

Nip/Tuck-  I'll always love you, you crazy ass, psycho drama.  I am sad you must go.
Thank you for Mario Lopez's abs, Kimber being as hilarious as ever, and Matt the Mime.  Yes, Matt  is a mime and mimes freak me out as much as clowns.

Nip tuck
I'll miss the very Dali- esque marketing, the meat saws to boobs, carving models' faces up, white supremists, serial killers and drug dealers.  I am as loyal as a puppy and will watch until the final episode when none other than the plastic surgery test dummy Joan Rivers shows up for the final epsiode.

I wonder if, and am hoping that, the season ends similarly to the famous final scene of Six Feet Under. 

Six feet under (Six Feet Under- The Final Six Minutes Video)

If not, hopefully, Christian and Sean will be able to fix the economy and their failing business with a scalpel, a cleaver, a meat axe, a fork, nunchuks, a blow torch, a turkey baster, a hydrogen bomb and a pooper scooper.


Most Influential Man Of The Year is………….DON DRAPER…………How Cool!?!?

Don-ep8
You know he's not real, www.askmen.com, don't you?

But I guess in light of the fact that drinking, smoking and sleeping around is all that is getting press these days it makes sense.

The website says he “represents something about male identity that is enduringly captivating but has nonetheless vanished…a brilliant career man and a temptation-swayed philanderer who sincerely wants to be a family man.” 

Reminds me of another fictional character that may have won if his show was still on the air.

Tony

Will the real Slim Shady please stand up? 

Dave and john
 
Eminem- The Real Slim Shady


They're Back! The Real Housewives of New Jersey

New jersey housewives
I never thought I could be more excited until I learned that BRAVO is renewing the Real Housewives of New Jersey!!!!!

I must adbmit I wasn't into any of it at all.  The subsequent seasons only midly interested me, although, I read a lot of the press surrounding NeNe and all her drama (yes she was a stripper -plus size I assume, writing a tell-all book, hating everyone and causing trouble as any "head bitch in charge" would do.)  There was no way in hell I would ever watch New York City Housewives because the unmarried, ex-Bridezilla, Martha Stewart Apprentice loser Bethenny Frankel annoys me to the point where I stop speaking coherently.

But one day I was home sick on the Sunday of the NJ finale and got caught up in the all day marathon. I was hooked!

Edie
I really believed it to be a redemption from the TV Gods to make up for Sopranos going off the air.

I think each of the wives represents at least someone we know or know of.

Danielle- a divorced, non-Italian with a book and rather large, non-articifial breasts.  It still hasn't been confirmed if she is returning.  She may be sleeping with the fishes.

Jacqueline- Restores faith in the fact that you can be a bar whore and still find someone (very rich) to marry you.

Dina- married to the mob, whose decorating sense did not translate to her brace-faced daughter's stuffed animal ridden room.

Caroline- She scares me so I'd rather not say anything about her.  I cross the street when I see any overweight red heads wearing bling. 

But most of all, I love Teresa.  Not because we share a name.  But because of her bubbs, McMansion and food fighting. 

Teresa
Teresa vs. Danielle

BTW- most of them had babies over the summer.  So it just proves that no one cares that these gene pools could use a little more chlorine.


Yeah- She Got in My World Wide Pants- But You're Not

Video of Late Night Show Video of Extortion last night


David
If there could be a playbook on how sex scandals should be handled, David Letterman should write it.  He presented his story on his own terms. He didn't ask for anyone's forgiveness. He simply stated the facts and went on with his business.  And he did it with humor. 

I love David Letterman. He's smooth.

Check out the Top Ten Reasons Why Letterman's Sextortion Scandal Won't Matter


So do you think this Emmy winning producer of 48 hours extorntionist man would do a piece about the story when he gets out of jail and win another Emmy?  Stranger things have been known to happen in this business, right Whitney, MacKenzie, O.J.??????????


One Dad At A Time

Mackenzie

Ok, Mackenzie Phillips, it's your turn.  You can add your name to the list of celebrities who come out with deep dark secrets to sell a book. 

Sorry about Dad.  I really hope it's not true.  If it is, I'm not that shocked, truthfully.  All the Mamas and Papas were freaks.  It was the 60s/70s.  Drugs, hippies and movies like Pretty Baby and Lolita were box office hits.

 Lolita

Lolita 1962

The confession that really gets me is Mick Jagger.  Have you seen the chicks Mich Jagger bedded?  I hate to break the news Julie Cooper, you're not all that.

 Jerry hall

And can someone tell me what's on Oprah's mind?  Bad enough she dedicated 2 shows to the woman who coined the phrase "Crack is Whack".  Now if my memory serves me, Mackenzie swore up and down during that interview that she was no longer doing drugs.  She was then arrested in the airport on drug charges.   

Mackenzie Phillips Arrested

Hey Oprah- remember your book club recommendation in 2005?  How'd that work out for you?  Will you continue to give air time to people who are capable of telling a Million Little Lies?

Freymflsmall

 

James Frey


Celebrity Death Match- Tomorrow on the View

Kate Gosselin vs. Kathy Griffin

Kathy Kathy Griffin is hilarious.  Sometimes shocking, always offensive, she has made Kate her prime target since the tabloids gave the Gosselins the space Britney and K-Fed used to occupy. 

Kathy Griffin's movie trailer on Jimmy Kimmel Live  (Kate is Enough ) was a comedy bit that played more like an expose to me.  And I love that in her opening monologue as host of the Creative Arts Primetime Emmys, Kathy joked about getting intimate with Jon Gosselin.  Why not Kathy? Everyone else has.

Supposedly Kate is going to confront Kathy for always making fun of her, tomorrow on The View.  This I have to see!

Gosselin and her husband, Jon, will be divorced by the end of this month....thank God!  I am hoping she has nothing left to talk about once that happens.  I am so done with them.

Paula deen Bottom line, I want in on the action.  I want to biff the people at Telepictures for even entertaining a talk show with Kate as host.  "Mom Logic" will contain a mix of advice, health and beauty tips and celebrity gossip geared toward moms and moms-to-be. What's worse? Paula Deen is the co-host!  Advice from Paula?  A woman who makes fried butter balls, exploits her adult male children and treats her husband like crap on public TV?  Wait!  It's a match made in Jerry Springer heaven.  Maybe Paula can show Kate the real purpose of a turkey baster.  Get ready, Y'all!